Empire v Scandal - must the battle for "real" blackness continue?

I have spent waaaaay too much time lately listening to people debate about depictions of black people via

Scandal

and

Empire

. Which one is more real? Which is better? Which one helps or hurts the black community more? Whether modern black femininity is more epitomized by Olivia Pope or Cookie Lyon? Is it worse to see Olivia bouncing back between Fitz and Jake or to see Lucious Lyon's overt homophobia?

Someone even went so far to say that

Scandal

is to

Empire

what

The Jeffersons

was to

Good Times

. Oh dear, are we still trying to get one TV show to reflect the entire panoramic experience of Black American lives? Are we still looking to well-written but nonetheless fictional TV shows to accurately depict those lives?

Let's all take a minute, breathe deep and stop.

First of all, this is finely crafted fiction. Acted and directed for entertainment purposes only. If you happen to grab a life lesson here and there from an episode or two... so be it. But let's not act like any of us don't see the good, the bad and the ugly in both of these shows. They are both wonderful and awful.

Let's talk leading ladies - These ladies are really fly in their own way. Cookie is not more "real" than Olivia and Olivia is not "balling harder" than Cookie. I know people who are half Cookie, half Olivia. Coolivia? Olivkie? I know people who are very Cookie with a dollop of Olivia. I know people who are not like either one of them but covet their shoes.

At the end of the day, these  are two fictional black women who are come from two different places. Some of their issues (wrong-man-choosing, meeting secretly with law enforcement, family drama, yaki hair laid all the heaven) are the same. Some are very different. They are both complex, complicated and both happen to look good stomping in four inch heels.

But they are not by any means perfect:

Bless their hearts. I don't know about you but I don't know any women who spent 17 years in jail and came out on top. Let alone any who spent 17 years in and less than six months later is a millionaire in a penthouse. Nor do I know any women whose father ran a super secret black ops agency, slept with the President and has 2/3rd of the Washington power players on speed dial. 

What I do like about both shows is that they are entertaining (if I overlook the Liv held captive episodes) and bring more to the table that your average TV drama/soap. Like them or not, you do get caught up in the characters' lives. It's escapism at it's best. Music on both shows is top notch. Whether your life has been more Lyon or Pope is for you to decide. I think there's room for both of these shows on the DVRs of all viewers. 

Were there articles complaining that

Breaking Bad

depicted white people in the wrong way or that

Two & a half men

wasn't a realistic depiction of single fatherhood or

Downton Abbey

wasn't inclusive enough? Different stories, told different ways. The best way to depict them all is to find a way to get all of them on TV. Can we (black folks) celebrate the win of having shows with people that look like us on TV and work to get more?

Let me sidebar two shows that gave me great joy this season:

Black*ish

and

How to Get Away with Murder

. There have been some scenes with Jenifer Lewis and Laurence Fishborne that are hold-your-sides funny. 

And actually, some of the realest "black" moments on TV were between Viola Davis and Cicely Tyson.

That whole episode when Mama came to town was about as real as it gets. But again, fictionalized because not once when my mother was doing my hair back in the day did she confess to murder and arson. LOL! It's TV people.

My point? Besides embedding all the fun gifs - is to say (once again) we are not a monolith. The fun of humanity is in the variety. The fact that we have some things that are common (love, sleep, taxes, the necessity to take in oxygen) and then a whole bunch of stuff that is markedly different. Instead of pitting one experience against the other, why not be glad of the existence of all?

Just a thought. You can go back to debating whether to take Lucious or Huck on a drive by with you now. :-)

Comments, insights? Who is watching which (or both or none) of these shows and why?

The #Selma Bougie Movie Review - Must see and yet...

Selma

was all it was marketed to be: a brilliant and sometimes painfully honest look at the fight for the right to vote which came to a head in Selma, Alabama in 1965. Martin Luther King, Jr and Coretta Scott King were played masterfully by David Oyelowo and Carmen Ejogo. The supporting cast was impressive and the story felt authentic. By authentic, I mean it felt like the story was being told without any obvious hidden agenda.

No spoilers but they kept it really real. No one was all saint or all villain. Everyone was human. LBJ was not painted as a benevolent savior for the colored folk and Martin Luther King's faults, fears and foibles were on display. You winced and you sympathized and you exhaled. As for the flow of the movie, the opening scene ripped your heart out and you never really got it back because you knew what laid ahead. 

The dialogue and scenery made sense for the movie and even though you knew what was going to happen, you were so embedded in the moment that things still came as a surprise, or a laugh, or a disappointment or a prayer. It's a rare movie that allows for that kind of emotional investment but

Selma

is just that good.

On the other hand, I have to admit that I'm thoroughly weary of seeing black folks catch a beatdown on the big screen, in real life, just generally. Sick. Of. It. There was a couple sitting behind us that said, "Wow, that scene looked just like Ferguson from a few weeks ago." Unfortunate and true. Apparently in this country, some lessons need to be learned and learned again.

The best thing about

Selma

is that it gives a detailed almost "behind the scenes" look at one of the pivotal moments in the Civil Rights Movement. The worst thing about

Selma

is that it is a stark reminder that no matter how many strides of progress have been made, we have not overcome as yet.

I walked out of the movie conflicted. Watching the movie felt like a journey. However, when the movie ended we hadn't reached our destination yet.  Much as I loved the artistry of the film, it's not one I'll watch over and over again. 

Have you or will you see it? Thoughts, comments, insights? Do share...

When Superwoman needs a nap

Every holiday it seems I make the same declaration - Someone else needs to step up and make this holiday happen. Yet I found myself (again) hosting Christmas (again) with guests (again) and last minute shopping, wrapping, decorating (again) and cleaning and cooking and cleaning (again) before I jetted off to Mexico where BougieSis caught the flu, gave it to me and I spent New Year's huddled under an electric blanket with antibiotics.

No. Bueno,

I returned to work this Monday to find that not one but two employees were promoted out of my already understaffed team so I was left with a team of one and a half people to do the work of six. I went into a status meeting with a client and of course had my hindparts handed to me because I couldn't commit to taking on any additional work. Oh and it was windchill 12 effing degrees outside so my trek to the treadmill felt like a march across outer Siberia. I made it for 18 minutes on level 1.7 before my lungs revolted and I hacked and coughed my way back to the house.

I'm living so sexy.

And don't get me started on my love life. Really. Let's just let that simmer on the back burner until my energy is back where it needs to be. Suffice it to say dude said he was sorry I didn't feel well, did that mean I wasn't cooking for the game? {Insert epic side-eye here}

Okay, enough whining. Please do not go look in the archives to remind me how many times I say "This year, I'm doing ME!" I lowkey mean it this year. Superwoman needs a nap, the cape needs to be dry-cleaned and the boots require new heels and some polish.

I'll be the writer/blogger/HR Consultant propped up in the corner in Snuggie (do they sill make those?) - How's your new year starting out?

Happy 2015! I resolve... not to make any resolutions

I cannot, in good conscience, kick off one more January with a peppy New Year, New You! post. I cannot. Let's face facts. We did not magically become new people between midnight December 31st to 12:01 am January 1st. All the faults and foibles we possess are still there. We are who we are for the most part.

What a new year DOES do (just like a new day only with a bigger sketchpad) is give you an opportunity to draw a different road map. You don't get to hit a reset button really but you can say, "I'd like to do x and y and z this year" and people nod and encourage you to do so. However, if it's the exact same x and y and z you've resolved to do in multiple years' past, allow for the fact that folks are going to side-eye the hell out of you. 

But that's okay too. I, for one, have decided against the annual making (and breaking) of resolutions. I'm just going to continue to be a better me, whatever that turns out to look and sound like. 2014 was more win than lose for me so instead of picking it apart, I'll just take the W.

However, I will take a moment to talk about broad lessons learned in 2014. And yes, some of them sound familiar because apparently, I'm the sort of gal who has to learn things the hard way and more than once...

1. Rarely do the best things happen overnight or without a bit of sweat equity. This counts in relationships and work.
2. Be careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it. Can I get a witness?
3. Not everything you want is what you need. C'mon somebody.

What about you? Did you keep to your 2014 resolutions? Trying again this year? Do share...

Boobs and P! Power - Scandal and a PSA

In the words of the Commodores - How can she lose those things she use?

In mid-September, I was running errands when one of Plano's finest pulled up behind me and flashed his lights. Le Sigh. I pulled over with a smile on my face, rolled down my window and spoke, "Hi Officer, how's your day going?" He paused and then blinked. "Um, better than yours. You don't have a front license plate, your inspection sticker is out of date and I can't find proof of insurance on this car in the system." I handed him all my documentation, explained about the inspection sticker all the while smiling and chatting about the weather, the Cowboys, the price of gas, whatevs.

"You are the most pleasant traffic stop I've had in a while." He informed me while he typed up $600 worth of fines into his little handheld. 

"Well, no need to make you feel bad about doing your job. Plus I was just headed to Zumba class so it's not like you're totally ruining my day." I brightened the smile and fluttered the lashes. 

"You know what?" He offered, leaning in. He may or may not have been ogling the boobs. "I'm not supposed to do this but let me tell you how you can get almost all of this excused and pay only a tenth of the fine." 

"That would be soooo awesome," I cooed and wrote down every word he said. He thanked me for my pleasant attitude and we went our separate ways. On the day I was supposed to go in and prove I had fixed all the stuff, I clickety-clacked into the Collin County courthouse, stood in line for 52 minutes (with a lot of really cranky people) and finally handed over my paperwork. She typed my name into the computer and looked up. "One second." She made a phone call.

Everyone stared at me like I was about to get Seal Team 6'ed up outta there. Officer Friendly came out from the back and motioned for him to meet me in the lobby. "Hi there!" I waved. He laughed and said, "Let's take a look." We went outside, looked at the car, he signed off on the paperwork. We walked back in and I saluted him, "Thanks for the service, you be careful out there." He walked away shaking his head. No, Officer Friendly was not cute. He was just a guy doing his job who enjoyed not getting cussed out.

When I handed my stuff back to the clerk, old girl said, "That will be $11." I didn't ask any questions, slid a ten and one across the counter. The guy that was behind me in line looked over and announced, "It must be awesome to have boobs." I grinned, "It rocks." He look stunned that I acknowledged that I had flirted my way out of a $600 fine. Then I hotfooted up out of there before somebody changed their mind. 

Last night on Scandal, Papa Pope was livid that Olivia out-maneuvered his nefarious plot to get rid of Jake while shaming Fitz. When he came to confront her at the pool, she calmly removed her goggles and told him that she had weapons at her disposal that he never would. Okay?! Boom-chicka-wow-wow and whatnot.

She basically touted the power of the p! to her daddy. Admirable? No. But totally true. 

Speaking of girl power, ladies - today is the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month - did you get the girls checked? Medically and professionally, I mean... SMH. Get yo' mammogram on.

Ladies, I would ask if you've ever unleashed the power of p! (or merely exercised your God-given estrogen-powered right to be charming) to get something you wanted but that would be giving away the secret sauce, wouldn't it? Enjoy your weekend.