Alrighty then, SO glad I put a big ole "Email Me" icon on the sidebar. J This has allowed lurkers visitors to send over notes expressing themselves and peppering me with questions they were too chicken private to post publicly. I, however; am more than happy to answer them publicly. In what will become yet another series it will take me months to write part two of I will update regularly, here is installment one of a game show we'll call… Ask a Bougie Chick!
(cue game show music) This week on Ask a Bougie Chick, OneChele was asked a series of questions which she must answer openly and honestly! Five of those questions were randomly selected and answered below. The names of the question-askers have been shortened to maintain their privacy and the questions have been altered for grammar and spelling. All blazing obscenities have been replaced with random characters. Here we go…
Question 1 comes from xxxad: Since you appear to be one of them %$# liberal-ass demo-nazis who think Obama can do no wrong, what are you going to do when he turns this country into a socialist state? You and all of your $%# friends will be begging to go back to Africa then won't you? Sort of makes me wish ya'll never got the vote.
Answer from OneChele (putting on her Kevlar vest): Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. I must assume by demo-nazi you are referring to the Democratic Party? I am actually an Independent with both liberal and conservative leanings. I haven't seen anything out of Obama indicating that a socialist coup is imminent, however; I can be sure good folks like yourself will let me know just how blind I am to the truth.
As for begging to go back to Africa, are you implying that my ancestors begged to come here? I feel fairly certain that ShakaBougie did not volunteer for this boat ride. Give up being an adored member of African royalty to get here and eat dirt for 200 (300, 400) years? I thinks not. However, I understand there is a lovely five diamond spa on the Ivory Coast, I might beg for a 10-day visit there. If you'd care to contribute, there's a donation button on my right side bar. Remember, the more you give, the more of my people I can take back with me.
Moving on, wish we never "got the vote?" Is the real issue that we figured out the game so that you and your #$% friends couldn't jack the White House for another eight years? I'm just sayin'. At any rate, your letter is much appreciated and thanks again for visiting the Bouge! Tell a bougie (or tobacco-spittin', confederate flag-wavin', Deliverance-soundin') friend!
Question 2 comes from Radxxx: I really hate that you called this blog Black and Bougie. You have just played into society's compartmentalization of our people. By calling yourself both Black and Bougie it gives a negative connotation our ancestors marched and died to destroy. Furthermore, your shallow mockery of the real issues facing us reveals your true ignorance. Thanks for perpetrating more ignorance into the ether. Not a fan.
Answer from OneChele while listening to Public Enemy: Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. I love when a well-meaning pseudo-intellectual self-proclaimed radical tells me about my failures in pursuit of Blackness. Congratulations for working the word compartmentalization into a sentence, quite erudite. Though in your later sentence, did you mean perpetrating or perpetuating? Just wondering, scholar.
Please peep (am I offending you by saying peep? Sorry – peruse) the Defending our Blackness Manifesto from July 12, 2009. When you have finished that, please read my very first post on The Bouge of It All. If after reading those two posts you still believe me to be mocking and ignorant (instead of tongue-in-cheek and thought-provoking), well; you are certainly allowed your feelings.
I can't say there is anything on this blog that I wouldn't be happy to share with my dead marched-out ancestors. But if you STILL aren't happy, maybe I should go back to school and study up on my Blackness. To do this, I will need donations, there's a button on my right bar. The more you give, the smarter I'll get. Your patronage of the Bouge is much appreciated. Come back soon and bring a bougie friend!
Question 3 comes from SBxxx: I've noticed that in a few of your posts you refer to an ex-boyfriend and/or an ex-significant other, does this mean you are single and if so, will you ever post an actual picture of yourself (or just send one to me ;-)). Also, you never wrote part 2 of the e-harmony thing so I don't know how it all turned out. Sorry if this seems forward but I like your style. I can tell you are a woman with the realness. So sexy and rare.
Answer from blushing OneChele: Thanks so much for stopping by the blog. Ah yes, ask any of my bougie siblings and friends… sexy and rare are the first two adjectives that come to mind describing me (ha!). I do so happen to be single at this time which pretty much tells you how the eHarmony of it all turned out. No plans to post a picture right now and thank you for your kind words. Now if you are truly interested, feel free to email me a picture, resume, last two tax returns, family tree and DNA sample… jokes, just jokes. I will post part two of the eHarmony fail this week. Drop by the Bouge anytime and bring a single bougie friend.
Question 4 comes from GOPxxx: From Alaska here. What EXACTLY is your problem with Sarah Palin? What did she ever do to you besides try and have a voice and make a difference in the country? Calling her Say-Pay and talking about her as if she is brainless is disrespectful!!!!! You don't have to agree with her but you have to respect her. I'm so tired of people piling on. I have to listen to you people go on and on about Obama who does not get any respect from me at all!!!!! All of your type write so much #@$ filth about Sarah but Obama walks on water. I don't get it!!!!!!
Answer from a weary OneChele: Wow, thanks so much for stopping by the blog. First of all, a quick tip – I read your words at the same volume regardless of how many exclamation points you add on, okay? Next, my problems with Say-Pay run deep and long, you obviously read my posts so… asked and answered. Onwards, uh – no I don't have to respect Sarah Palin. I live in Texas, son. She is not my soon-to-be-ex governor, I didn't vote for her in any election. However, she is about to be all up and through the media outlets getting her grand hustle on. She is a step (tiny step) above Paris Hilton as far as I'm concerned.
On the other hand, I am sorry you don't care for President (check the title) Obama who was elected to the highest public office in these here United States (including yours) against overwhelming odds. Therefore, much respect given. And lastly, I am ignoring the "you people" and "your type" remarks to say that no one believes Obama walks on water but he doesn't give interviews wading through it in plastic pants either. And yes, we know you don't get it. We don't even expect you to anymore. Hey, the Bouge is equal opportunity… come back and bring a friend (bougie or not).
Question 5 comes from OKRxxx: There are so many things written on this blog that I just cannot agree with. I have no beef with Palin or Steele, I don't think Sotomayor will be a good justice and the whole bougie concept seems like classist snobbery. Who cares if it's hot where you live and everyone knows the Dallas Cowboys are the most racist outfit in major league sports, they get what they deserve everytime they lose. Obama is a joke, McNair was a dog, Jackson was a freak. But at least you're entertaining and appear to believe what you're writing. Is this what you do?
Answer from OneChele while head is spinning: Whew, thanks so much for stopping by the blog. You sure 'nuff stroked with one hand and slapped with the other, didn't ya? We call that a back-handed compliment, sir. From the looks of it, you read almost every post before drawing your conclusions so thank you for your patronage (I think?). I did not realize that there was such a thing as sports franchise karma so thank you for dropping that knowledge on me.
To answer your question, yes – writing is what I do. Not just this blog, stuff that pays for things like NFL Sunday Ticket on DirecTV, broadband internet connections and shoes. Are you concerned? If so, there is a donation button on the right sidebar. The more you give, the less I'll blog. Too busy picketing the Cowboys' offices… not! Come back anytime and bring a skeptical friend.
For those whose letters I answered publicly, my plan was not to embarrass anyone - the purpose of blogs is public discourse. Do know that I would have said the exact same thing privately. For those letters I haven't answered yet, I'm working on it.
Okay people, here's your shot… got any questions to ask a bougie chick?