Bougie Relationship Tip: Don’t be THIS girl

The world is chock full of the "crazy girlfriend/wife/ex" stories. (Crazy boyfriends are out there as well but we'll address them another day). We had the tragic crazy of Steve McNair's young "friend." And we have the I'm-sorry-but-I-have-to-laugh crazy of the women who found out their man was three-timing them and they retaliated by duct taping him up in a hotel room, beating him down and super-glueing his private parts. Ouch!

Anyway if these women need a theme song, there is a tune by Jazmine Sullivan called Bust Your Windows. It's actually a catchy tune, but let me not digress. The song is about a woman who catches her man cheating and takes out her revenge on his car. A few lyrics…

I bust the windows out your car

After I saw you laying next to her

I didn't wanna but I took my turn

I'm glad I did it cuz you had to learn


And lest we assume this is a sister girl thing, I can bring up Carrie Underwood's hit, Before He Cheats about a woman catching wreck on her man's ride, too:

I dug my key into the side

Of his pretty little souped-up 4 wheel drive

Carved my name into his leather seat

I took a Louisville slugger to both head lights

Slashed a hole in all 4 tires

And maybe next time he'll think before he cheats


It's safe to say that catching your man cheating tends to trigger extreme reactions in womenfolk (a la Angela Bassett's character in Waiting to Exhale). As a matter of fact, there seems to be a lot of things that set off the crazy in womenfolk. We could historically review the entire Left-Eye Lopes lighting up Andre Rison's house. But in all of those cases, we could argue that the men behaved in such a way as to deserve some flavor of come-uppance. (Clearly all those women went extreme).

What happens when the man does nothing but gets the crazy anyway? Take for instance the embedded video below. JD went on a two-week trip to Europe (which he had told his girlfriend about) and returned to find quite the email trail from his girlfriend Em. It seems when she couldn't reach him by cell, text, or email she lost it... a lot.

From JD's Man Stories: (Workplace ALERT: R-rated for language, there is sound so mute as needed, it takes about 8 minutes to get through but it's worth it)



Ladies, do the rest of us a favor and dial back the crazy with your men. Those of us who meet them next are tired of getting the side-eye and watching them hide the matches. I will admit to smiling at the Angela Bassett scene, it's a lovely retribution fantasy. But I'm bougie, I fight with win a pen, not a pistol (or lighting fluid). My words are my weapons (some of you fellas should be glad).

Question for the readers: Is there such a thing as justifiably crazy? Is there ever a good reason to go all Jazmine/Carrie/Angela on your man?