How I spent my Summer Vacation - by Barack Obama*

*Well, the way I imagine it would sound anyway…

Let’s imagine a school room chock of students bright-eyed and shiny back from their summer vacations. As teacher, OneChele asks each of them to submit that time honored paper on how they spent their summer vacations. In my better dreams, I imagine President Obama’s would go a little something thing this: (slideshow embedded for your enjoyment, no sound, on some viewers you will have to adjust sidebar if not watched full-screen. mouse over picture to turn off captions. UPDATE: The slideshow only works when it feels like it. Click Full-screen and good luck!)
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Dear Ms. Chele,
What vacation? Are you referring to the week I spent in Martha’s Vineyard? I rode my bike (I don’t need a helmet, I have Secret Service) and walked on the beach before my good friend Teddy passed which kinda brought the mood down.

Oh, you are referring to the whole summer? Okay, well – I logged a few frequent flier miles. Africa, Russia, Mexico, Germany, France, Italy… to name a few. Some folks had beef that I brought my family with me on a few trips. I gives a damn. Do you see how cute my family is?

I made America look good again. I smiled more smiles and shook more hands of foreign dignitaries in three months than my predecessor did in his last three years. I sent my Secretary of State’s husband over to pick up some folks before the North Korean situation went loco. (More loco than usual)

I talked… a lot. Besides giving over 20 interviews and holding more than 25 press conferences, I spoke at a few graduations (like it or not). I responded to 90% of the yada-yada folks made up. I enjoyed watching myself portrayed as all manner of evil on posters, commercials and bulletin boards. I decided to rise above all that, ya’ll hired me to do a job – I’m out here working until you fire me. (good luck with that)

I signed laws. That’s how I roll, all legislative and sh*t. I signed bills into law on cleaner energy, national recovery, food safety, clunky cars and unemployment benefits (to name a few).

I had a birthday, in case you ungrateful folks cared. Took a total of zero full days off. This gig is 24/7/365. I hosted web conferences and teleconferences. I went to meeting after meeting.

And since SOME folks don’t know how to act, I had to hit the road defending my healthcare proposal. I’m trying to help ya’ll out, I have great coverage. But no, some of you want to get all feisty and whatnot. So I’m out here dodging bullets (literal and figurative).

I gave out a few medals, played a few sports, hosted a dinner party or two. In my spare time, I managed to keep the world’s greatest free economy from riding off the rails. What did you do with your summer?

Sincerely,

Prez 44 AKA Barack “I’m out here grindin’ no matter what you fools say” Obama

Well, I finished writing a book and started a second. I thought I was productive until I realized just how much he accomplished over the same period of time. You can find fault with his ideologies if you like, but you cannot fault the work ethic. I am ready for fall. Let’s get some healthcare done, let’s kickoff some football and let’s get rid of these 100° days.

How was your summer?