Trying not to hate on… Black Friday

I'm a girl who loves to shop. Window shop, power shop, little browse or stock up for a rainy day – I love to shop. So why, Black Friday are you determined to suck the fun out of it? Sure, I don't HAVE to go out there on the craziest day of the year… but then again I really do. I have to make sure I'm not missing something fabulous. But I have to make sure within reason. So, Mr. B. Friday – I have a few questions for you:

  1. Why do you have people believing the hype and waking up at 3:00am to get in line at Wal-Mart for a $35 laptop? You know you only have two of those and 4,500 over-caffeinated people are about to storm your doors to get it. Quit tripping.

  2. Why do these stores not hire enough additional workers? Yes, we're in a recession but people must shop. I don't care if I'm only purchasing one pair of $5 drawers from Vicki's to get my free gift with purchase, I don't believe I should have to wait 35 minutes for it.

  3. Why are people so darn pushy? I mean like-snatch-the-boot-out-of-my-hand pushy. Girlfriend, don't let the bougie fool you – I will CUT you over some stack heel buttery leather size 8 ½ joints in black. Try me and see.

  4. Who are you fooling with some of these sales? Macy*s, bless their heart, has a one-day only sale every other week unless you are just opening a side window and throwing purses, shoes and apparel out the window, not sure how much more you can do.

  5. Why do we even go? It's like getting sucked in by the hype. We truly believe this is the best shopping day of the year and if we miss it, we should just lie down and drink arsenic.

  6. Is it bad that I rarely buy Christmas presents on Black Friday? I usually take the opportunity to stock up on stuff for me and the house. I'm sure I should feel bad about this somehow.

Usually BougieMom, BougieSis and I venture out around nine or ten (none of that four AM nonsense). We shop with a plan and a purpose and more often than not… a list. Yes, we are those people. We attack shopping with guerilla warfare precision and follow a few rules:

  1. Breakfast first, you'll need all your energy and brain food.
  2. Buy what you can afford, and only what you can carry yourself.
  3. Walking shoes only, you fall out you will get left behind.
  4. Know what you want, we will not be wandering from store to store.
  5. No tears in shopping, if we missed the noon cut-off for the extra 30% off – it just wasn't meant to be.
  6. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate. Sometimes the parking gods aren't with us and perspiration is involved.
  7. No kids allowed, this shopping expedition is for the grown, serious and toilet trained.
  8. No body no crime: mess with the BougieWomen at your own risk – we will fight back (or shred you with our razor sharp witty tongues)
  9. No discount, no purchase – I don't believe in paying full price for much of anything.
  10. If we find most of what we want at brilliant prices at the first store, that's a sign and we're done OR When we are so hungry we are irritable, it's time for a break or time to stop.

So who's with me? Who's shopping today? Why and what are you getting? Who believes Black Friday to be the most overhyped "pseudo-Holiday" of the year?