Twelve Things I have to say about the Tiger Woods story – then I’m done with it

Let me preface this by saying I don't give two shakes of a damn that Tiger Woods cheated on his wife. I really don't. I don't care where he was going at 2:30 in the morning. The answer, I suspect is: OUT. If his wife beat him with a nine iron or went Jazmine Sullivan on his windows, sounds like a police matter to me. Long and short – I didn't take vows with either Tiger or Elin. To my knowledge, he pays no parts of my bills and provides nothing to this household except entertainment on a few Sundays in the spring and summer months. He did a bad thing, he got caught and he apologized. He's a sports figure, not a politician or a preacher so beyond disappointment at the dislodging of his halo – I have only a headshake and a shrug. Yes, he's a role model but it's your job as a parent to teach your children what's right and what's wrong. If you are looking to Tiger for that, there's a bigger problem in your world.

The media and the folks on Facebook and Twitter just went on a feeding frenzy. The comments have been so overwhelmingly irritating and divisive that I find myself forced (yes, forced) to respond. Author confession: I have been at all three points of the cheating triangle. All. Three. Points. I can say with authority that every point of a triangle hurts like hell. So I feel that I can speak to the whole debacle for a paragraph or two. Here are my issues with the Tiger story:

  • People need to stop speaking about that which they have no knowledge. NO one knows what's going on in another person's marriage/relationship besides the two people in it. And even then, one or the both of them might be clueless. The theories about why Tiger cheated, what Elin did or didn't do in the bedroom are pure speculation. A lot of disrespectful speculation at that.

  • Stop using the words "jumpoff", "sidechick", "sidepiece" or "hood girlfriend" until you come up with a similar list of derogatory terms for the man. Just stop.

  • Stop bringing up Steve McNair. Didn't he already pay the ultimate price for his transgressions? Let the man rest in peace.

  • What we are seeing is the outcome from a series of events that (no matter what TMZ reports) we don't know everything about. Whenever someone cheats, there's a cause. No, not justifiable but a root cause. I went to a weeklong seminar on infidelity and heard HORRIFIC stories: Women who didn't have sex with their husbands for 18 months, men who just couldn't keep it their pants, women who fell in love with their "work husbands", men and women who should have never pledged fidelity in the first place… I mean it went on and on and on. Stop worrying about where Tiger is now and check your own relationship for cracks. Sociologists are considering infidelity an epidemic in America these days, what are you doing to make sure it doesn't infect your household?

  • People screw up… literally. But let's not slide back into an "all men cheat" rally. And fellas, hold onto that "men cheat physically, women cheat mentally" crap. Miss me with that. Ladies, skip the whole proud "women cheat smarter" battlecry. There's no pride in cheating, stop trying to dress it up and just let it be what it is.

  • And no, not all professional athletes cheat. And no, not every athlete who hangs out with Michael Jordan cheats.

  • Why are people so gleeful about this "transgression"? Because Tiger chose to call himself multi-racial and never cabbage-patched while waving watermelon on the 18th hole, we as "real black people" should be happy for the hot mess he's in? Here we go with the "shades of blackness" nonsense again. I mean people are so giddy to see a fall from grace. Glass houses folks – think about it.

  • Jesus be a Maximum Strength Tylenol! My head aches from the menfolk who came out of the woodwork with their "explanations" as to why cheating is okay. It's never okay. Your multiple justifications for stepping out are wickety-wack and deserving of a laser beam side-eye. Just keep all of that to yourself. We can all agree it happens but stop acting like it's okay. Someone (usually more than one someone) always gets hurt and that's never okay.

  • FAIL to Team Tiger – where's your 007 son? With all that is at your disposal, you should have NEVER got caught. I know a celeb who wouldn't even take a woman to the VIP room without her signing a confidentiality agreement first. (No it wasn't me, no I don't approve… moving on). Text messages? Voicemail? Chicks coming up out the woodwork? You need better people. Or to quit cheating… one or the other.

  • To the idiot who said this was all Elin's fault: Shoot yourself.

  • To the sisters saying this is what he gets for not marrying one of us or choosing one of us as his mistress: See above and repeat.

  • To the women who cheated with Tiger Woods and are now trying to cash in: See above and repeat twice. Contrary to what our tabloid culture has told you – lying up under (or I'm top of – I don't need the details) a rich and famous man is not a career path. It's an action that you will now have to justify to every other man you meet or grandbaby you have in the future. Congrats, you are in a category with Fawn Hall, Monica Lewinsky and a woman known as SupaHead… your parents must be proud. Cash in now, repent at leisure.

I could go on for days but let me say this… folks are hating. Tiger Woods is a world-renowned gazillionaire with a brand named after him. Check it: He won't lose endorsement or golf fan the first. I would be stunned if Elin packed her bags and hotfooted back to Sweden or Norway or wherever she's from. Who do you marry after Eldridge Woods, Jr? Yeah, she'll be hanging in there. What people love is the scandal, the fact that the previously golden child, the Chosen One, has got a little dirt on him now. I don't (at all) respect what he did but I respect how he is handling it now (should've done it Friday afternoon but that's his PR team's failure). He said what he said to say and now he's closing ranks. Case closed. Please… can we close the case and cease the commentary? I know I'm done.

Alright floor is yours… comments, thoughts, issues?