Under the Covers: The Tiger/Reggie Bush Haterade Flows

The picture on the left is Le Tigre with knit cap and weights on the cover of Vanity Fair (picture was taken prior to MistressGate). The picture on the left is of oiled up, platinum dog tag-wearing football player Reggie Bush on the cover of Essence. Both men are black athletes. And both covers have drawn the ire of many. Let's talk about it for a minute.

Personally, I'm not feeling Tiger. He's never been sexy to me. Nothing about him oozed cocoa-sexy. And that was before he white-washed his public persona to the least common dominator, colored himself Caublanasian (or whatever) and married the whitest woman on the plant and then cheated repetitively on her. Good for him. What I admired about Tiger was his mind and his game. And now that I know his mind can't wrap around simple concepts like not announcing yourself on your jump-off's cell phone or sending traceable text messages, I just admire his golf game. Wildly interested to know what that will look like when he returns. That about it.

Reggie Bush I never thought a lot about one way or the other except to gloat when my Longhorns beat his team in the Rose Bowl in 2006. Or where he impacted my fantasy football team. For as long as I've heard of him, he's dated the pseudo-celebrity Kim Kardashian who is about as deep as a saucer of milk and just as interesting. Good for him. I gave him credit for assisting (sporadically) the New Orleans Saints in their past few winning seasons and wearing the all-black uniform quite well. But that about it.

Then within the span of 24 hours, I was assailed with multiple tweets and emails about these two magazine covers. Let me start by saying I haven't read either article. They could be great insightful exposés, I just don't know. For now, let's talk about these covers. I didn't care for Tiger's cover at all. First of all, I'm so tired of Tiger. But Vanity Fair could not resist in cashing in. Good for them. Secondly, he's still not coming with the sexy. The cap, the pouty expression, the sloopy-hairy nipples and not quite a six-pack just weren't working for me. I don't know whether Tiger was trying to look "urban" or "edgy" or what – none of it worked. The majority of folks on Twitter and the Blogosphere agreed. Some thought he was going Hammer (referring to when clean-cut rapper MC Hammer tried to go all hoody street with the infamous 'Pumps and a Bump' song and video), I don't know. I just wasn't feeling it. A lot of the sisters will never forgive Eldrick for not checking for Shaquanda so they took the opportunity to pile on about just how "unsexy" Tiger's picture was. Never in the history of Pro Sports have more women felt less enthusiastic about a half-naked billionaire. Right about now, you put Tiger and Bill Gates in a room with 2 sisters – Bill's getting lucky. Tiger's getting knocked the eff out… just on GP.

Reggie's picture stirred up a controversy I did not see coming. I looked at and appreciated the cocoa-sexy and the 6-7-8-pack he had going on. Made a snarky remark that Tiger needed to see what a cover shot looked like. Immediately, I was pounced upon by the sisterhood. Was I not insulted that Essence, a magazine geared for Black Women would feature a man who (as far as we know) had no time for Shaquanda and Ne-Ne? Didn't I think that putting Reggie on the cover of Essence was like putting Robin Thicke on the cover of Cosmo? {which I thought was a hilarious analogy}. Especially since this was the Black Love issue!? Okay true, target audience may be a little off but ur, uh – I was just saying old boy was fine. I didn't realize it was a social commentary. Furthermore, if we stopped putting Black Celebs/Athletes who don't date Black Women on the cover of magazines, aren't there only 3 or 4 folks left to photograph? [sorry, couldn't resist]

So I turn this over to you, BougieLand. Both the fellas and the ladies. What do you think about these cover photos? Which picture do you prefer? Would you buy either magazine of read either article? Do share.