Lesson Learned: Fool’s Gold – The Story of Nessa

Nessa and I have a long and complicated relationship. You may remember her as my roommate who first went out with PsychoMike. So complex and deep is the drama that I could blog for a week and not scratch the surface of the back and forth, up and down, in and out of friendship times we've had. For those of you that have read my book, I gave the character Renee a few of Nessa's traits. For those of you who haven't read it… I'm shaking my head at you. ;-) Here's the lesson learned from Nessa:

Nessa wanted to date Wayne. Wayne was that nice guy. Everybody liked him. Never heard a bad thing about him. He was not the flashiest guy in the world, but smart, dependable – your basic good people. He came from salt of the earth folks and generally was a good person to be around. At the time, we were fifteen years old and travelled in packs. Seriously, we knew nothing. Nessa and I were bougie chicks from the far north side. Wayne and his crew lived in the "black section" of North Dallas where we went to church. Back in the day, we were not allowed to date individually. We had to go out in groups and then pair off. So in order to spend more time with Wayne, Nessa set me up with Gene. Yeah, that Gene (those of you not knowing, just search the site for my ex Gene and happy reading)… moving on.

Wayne was head over heels for Nessa. If she said jump he was already hopping up when the 'j' sound passed her lips. There was nothing he wouldn't have done for her. Nessa and Wayne dated for a few months and broke up... that's high school. Then they got back together in our senior year and broke up again when she cheated on him very publically. She invited Wayne to senior prom but made up an excuse to take him home mid-prom so she could spend the rest of the night with Craig. Craig was sexy, Craig was a little dangerous, last I heard Craig was up in the pen right next to my trifling prom date. Let's move on again, shall we?

Okay, fast forward to college. Nessa and Wayne are in the same city. Wayne makes another play for Nessa. She kind of strings him along until her head gets turned by something flashier – a Heisman Trophy winning dude who was later booted out of the NFL for epic sucking, spent two years on his mama's couch and now does commentary for some cable station. I remember asking Nessa why she wouldn't give Wayne a real shot and she indicated that he was too "safe" she needed more excitement. Plus she was worried because the one time they fooled around, he was "sexually conservative" and she found that a turn-off. I was thoroughly irritated but since my love life was (is?) a roller coaster of interesting choices made, I pursed my lips and shut up.

Wayne was not a man to give up, fast forward to about six years after college. Wayne met a woman who finally appreciated all he had to offer and he was feeling her as well. But before he could truly commit himself to her, he wanted to try one last time to have something with Nessa. By this time, he's in the Executive Training Program of a large corporation, has an MBA and you can really see the total package that he was putting together for himself. Now me, two other close friends and Nessa's mother are all campaigning for Wayne. Nessa had been through a string of sexy, shiny boyfriends not worth a nickel put together.

Now let me fill in background. Nessa is cute, she's been head cheerleader and homecoming queen her entire academic career. Men come easily. She works hard, she makes her own money, she's successful. She's also self-centered as hell, spoiled, frequently delusional and so in love with herself that there's rarely any room for someone else's ego to get in the door. I gave up keeping up with her dating life back in the mid-nineties. Life is too short. Okay, back to the story.

So Wayne takes Nessa out and lays his heart on his sleeve. He met someone, it's serious but if there's a chance tell me now and I'm yours. She told him she would get back to him. She left him at the restaurant and met me at a party to hook up with a dude named Elvis who wore leather year round and quite possibly spent time as a gigolo. Elvis was pretty though. He was a pretty, sexy, tall, chocolate thing that most of us with sense in our heads would take one look at and run the other way. She never got back to Wayne. And Elvis disappeared under suspicious circumstances (money was missing) before I even knew his last name.

Next thing you know we receive invitations to Wayne's wedding. She goes on an epic rant because he's marrying a mousy little white girl from nowhere. I almost bit my tongue in half holding back the comments dying to spring out. We go to the wedding (where I run into Gene again, whole other story). I vividly recall sitting in the church balcony, Nessa's mother whispers loudly to her, "That should've been you!" Awkward. Moment.

Anyway, here we are now. Wayne's mousy girl is now a doctor. When he had some health problems, she told him to go ahead and take a leave of absence, she had it covered. Today he's a vice-president of a Fortune 100 company, they have two kids and live in a 6500 square foot home that he bought with cash. Nessa is still single… and says she doesn't understand why.

Today's Lesson: All that glitters isn't gold. Waiting for the shinier bauble nets you nothing but lost time. Our esteemed relationship counselor teaches a class for the single ladies called "Put down the Pyrite and Reach for the Gold." Okay? Another friend used to say he hated when folks looked like coffee but turned out to be Sanka. I think you get my point. Nuff said.

BougieLand! Any stories about the one that got away? The ones that looked real shiny but were not as advertised? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.