|Let Daddy have a day!|
Yesterday something happened that I did not think was possible… Twitter shocked me. I really thought I'd seen everything there was to see in Twitlandia. But nothing prepared me for the outpouring of bitter bile over Father's Day. People went on epic tragic 140-character rants about the men who donated sperm to give them life. (Yep, someone described their father that way – wince.) I was informed that folks were getting down the same way on Facebook but I had not the energy to look.
I mean wow. I'm not naïve; I fully understand that not everybody had WonderDad but oooh weee, some folks either had Lucifer come to earth as their father or no father at all. But I have to wonder, what does sharing your "my dad wasn't shiggity" story to the whole world on Father's Day do for you? It's a vent, okay and now what?
I actually had someone tell me I was "rubbing it in" that I was raised in a two parent household with a good father. Um, I still miss my dad. I was trying to get through the day without weeping buckets. I didn't realize that it was some sort of competition: My dad is better than your dad? Really, after all these years? We didn't leave that behind in pre-school?
There was also the crazy dynamic of people trying to out-do each other with the most tragic "My Dad used to" stories. Again, what does airing all that scandal net you at day's end?
Oh, and lest I forget… the women going IN on their baby-daddys. Sweetheart, you thought that man was good enough for something at least one time. During that bump 'n grind were you worried about his deadbeat tendencies, immaturity and inability to connect emotionally? I'm not judging, I'm just saying no matter how trifling yo BabyDaddy may be; he's still the father of your child. Bashing him on the Innanets does nothing good. Truthfully, any bashing in a public forum is a co-parenting fail but I'll leave that to relationship experts to discuss.
Speaking of experts, I've been told by psychologists that children of devastating upbringing should be given to age twenty-one to face it, to age twenty-five to start dealing with it and to age thirty to put it behind them. The thought process being that at some point you cannot keep trotting out your childhood as reasons not to move forward and be all you can be. I don't know if this true but based on what I saw yesterday, a lot of folks still have a lot to deal with.
No doubt there's a time and place to call out faulty fathers, I can't say I believe that Father's Day is it. Let the current and future fathers that are striving hard to do the right thing have their day. Monday is soon enough to go in on the trifling ones.
I'm curious to hear your thoughts on this one. Is Twitter Daddy-bashing justified? Is there ever a good time to air your dirty laundry? Do these stories help or hinder? Am I just clueless? Comments and insights welcome…