No Shiggity: Please grow up

Cue the music... Hit it Teddy: "I like the way you work it. (No shiggity) Got to back it up. (Back it up) No shiggity. No doubt." What? That's not the way the song went? Maybe we can get T.R. to remake "No Diggity" into "No Shiggity" just for us... whatcha think? No? Okay... moving on.

Welcome to No Shiggity Week on BnB! For those A Different World aficionados out there, in the last two seasons Jenifer Lewis played the Dean who walked around with a notebook and anytime someone got out of line she wrote it down and said through clenched teeth, "You are ON. MY. LIST!" Tell 'em, sister. Point is... this week, I have a list too. 

Let's start out with grown folks (over the age of 25) who still act childish. I mean childish to the point where you have to say and wonder, "Seriously?" I have no patience for that form of shiggity. 

Here are some examples...

Vince, New Dude's friend, rolled over to his house at one a.m. (Yes, that's 1:00 in the mornin') Saturday and laid on the doorbell. Now it just so happened that I had drunk coffee at 6:00 pm and New Dude had taken a five hour nap and we were wide awake on the sofa... that's not the point. The point is why is a 42-year old man showing up at his friend's house uninvited after dark on the regular? Derrick, to his credit, did not move once he leaned back and saw it was Vince's car out front. He pulled out his cell and sent a text: "Not coming to the door, go the eff home." Vince hit the doorbell one more time and Derrick typed: "If you're bleeding call 911. Drunk? Call a cab. Otherwise, bye." We heard Vince muttering something under his breath as he walked back to his car. Grow up and get some manners. And a new girlfriend to occupy your time.

My friend that I'll name Jackie is a single parent with one daughter in college, no job and a retirement plan that she already borrowed against. She just turned fifty. Still talking about opening some sort of company (she hasn't defined exactly what it will do or how) and making her first million. No real plans, nothing in the back, no real anchor if something else goes wrong. She's just kinda out there in the wind. Waiting on the lottery or Prince Charming, I don't know. Grow up and get a clue. Even if you have to start entry level again somewhere, you can put in five years and re-vest in a retirement plan. 

This next one hurts me to write but it must be done. I've had three of my virtual "little brothers" reach out in the past week for relationship advice. All three are professional single men over the age of 30 living in large major cities. They are employed and working their way up and all three swear they are tired of dating and ready to find Mrs. Right. They came at me with the "I can't find a woman to meet my standards" line. And as of last week, all three of them were juggling multiple women (good women at that) and still looking to add more to the playlist. If you are serious about finding The One, grow up and quit playing with many. These women are auditioning to be your wife, not part of a rotating team. Pick your best single option, see how far it goes and cut everyone else loose. You really don't have to sample all 31 flavors at Baskin-Robbins once you find one that's your favorite. Welcome to your thirties.

Okay, off the soapbox for the day. Do you have a few "please grow up" points you'd like to make today? Thoughts, comments, insights?