Hook-up Hijinx: A Cautionary BougieTale


Bougie Hook-up: An introduction to a like-minded bougie person.

To the 117 of you that have contacted me looking for a Bougie Hook-up to help you find Mr/Mrs Right... I hear you. And I'm working on a solution. I throw great parties. My "hook-up" parties are responsible for 6 marriages, 9 long-term relaionships and more dates/smash-n-grabs than I care to think about.  So I can at least put you in the right place to meet the right people. But before I do, let me share a BougieTale:

A little over a month ago, I received a request for a Bougie Hook-up from one of our Lady Bougienistas. It just so happened that I received a request from a male BnB reader the same day and the two of them used the exact same language style and phrasing. After a phone conversation with each of them, I had them fill out a short questionnaire. I asked if they wanted background checks or not. They declined. I put them in touch with each other.

They live in the same state but in different cities so the interaction started out by phone, email and text. It was all smiles and giggles between the two of them. In his words, "Virtually, this woman is everything I'm looking for." She sent me a note saying, "I'm very excited about what I see so far." Excellence, I told them, the rest was up to them. My only advice? Take. It. Slow.

So what happens? After three weeks, they decide to meet in the middle of the state for dinner. Dinner goes great, wine gets consumed, pheromones get to working and next thing you know they're in a hotel room doing what drunk happy single people do.

Awkward morning after, promises to talk later and they go back to their separate cities. He sends her the "we're moving too fast" text, she sends back the "I didn't hear you complaining when I was naked" text and the whole thing unravels from there.

Then they both have the good nerve to get back at me to ask, "What went wrong?" Le Damn, people. What did I say? Take. It. Slow. That means coffee, during the day, with no king-size beds or room service. 

I'm not saying the sex on the first date kills any chance of a long-term relationship, I'm saying in this situation you put an additional stressor on a fragile situation. I know, I'm old school. I still think a first date should end in handshakes and hugs not hotel keys and humpin'. You didn't know each other well yet but you both knew the other was looking for something more than Mambo #9 at the Marriott. So the morning after both of you were wondering - how often does he/she do this? 

But I turn this over to you, BougieLand... what should they have done differently? Why do you think they freaked the morning after? What would you do in the same situation? 

The floor is yours...