So apparently, I have to say this one mo' gin because some folks haven't opened themselves to the message and let it sink in: It's not a crime to be a single, successful sister with standards. Just because one woman may have overlooked your potential, Ray-Ray, don't be pissy with all of us.
Breathing in, breathing out. Okay, Bougienistas - Watch this video first and then I'll have a little chit and chat with you.
So ha-ha, right? Supposedly, the person(s) who created this video just wanted to highlight how difficult it is for the brothers to be heard by the sisters because we just want so damn much. We're self-absorbed, mercenary psuedo-Christians whose expectations for happiness are completely unrealistic. Right? I thinks not and I have a few comments:
1. Folks are going to have to make up their minds. Either black women are fat, unloved, lonely and thirsty or we're too fly for our own good and wouldn't recognize a "catch" if it was placed outside our front doors next to a burning bush.
2. I thought we (black bloggers, commentators, journalists, intellects, whatever) were trying to work towards decreasing the animosity of we vs. they. Mars vs. Venus. Lads vs. Ladies. I thought it had been decided that all the "black men ain't ish" and "black women need to recognize" books and posts and pimpin-assed videos simply weren't helpful. Or was that just me?
3. Okay, let's say I'm being sensitive and this is all in good fun. [It's possible] But um... what if this was reversed? How many men would find it just hilarious that women sent this around and said, "It's just SO true! That's why men stay single! They want too damn much." Actually, the quote from my Twitter stream was "This is why you high fallutin' b*tches stay single. " Ni-ice.
4. For every one chick like this overblown caricature, I could attach one of my many bougietales or a bougie bachelorette episode as a point/counterpoint. For every thirsty-as-hell sista, there's a beggin' assed brotha putting Keith Sweatt to shame. We know this. Any reason to beat one side down over the other?
5. More solution-based problem solving, less animated pot shots. More conversation, less criticism. If people don't get how to do it, I invite them to spend a week perusing the BougieLand comments. We beef, we banter, we talk, we joke, we share, we learn. Men and women. We don't bash or ambush. And those that do get told about it with the swiftness. Hey, maybe that's the solution. We should spread the vibe of bougenificence everywhere.
I could go on but truthfully, I didn't want to write about this hot mess to begin with. It rubbed me the wrong way (obviously). Maybe I'm tired of seeing the same-old, same-old Successful Single Sister who is alone because she's selfish, high-strung and thinks too highly of herself portrayed over and over again. Like the love of a good man is the only thing that will save her from her inevitable fate of sharing her big lonely bed with Fluffy for the rest of her days. Yep, that's probably it. Yet and still, I had 16 tweets and 22 emails asking me what I and the BougieLand faithful thought about it.
So what do you think about the "film"? All in good fun? Sad and tragic? Somewhat true? Just not helpful? Did I read too much into it? Should we make a response video? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.
p.s. no rant tomorrow - I promise! Well, unless something really rantworthy happens.