(Not a commentary on Drake, just a useful pic of his song cover)
So as you may have surmised... I have a bit of experience with ex-SOs. And bless their hearts, some simply don't stay gone. They check in, they show up, they text, they tweet, they call. And sometimes they say things I don't really appreciate. I recently polled a few (okay 25) people about the least favorite things they've been told after a break up by an ex-SO. We compiled quite a list. These are the top five:
1. You're the best I ever had: Besides showing a bit of an "eww-ick" factor, it's also a completely moot point. If I was the best you ever had does that mean you're now willing to settle for less than the best? It reflects poorly on both parties. Keep that one to yourself.
2. You made me a better man/woman: Le Sigh. I already know this. But guess what? I didn't sign up for the Boyfriend Improvement Plan. Not my role to make guys into better people, shine them up and send them out into the world. [Sure does seem to work out that way sometimes though] No, I don't find it complimentary when the next girl tells me I "trained him well." Who wants to spend time getting something damn near perfect only to have someone else enjoy the fruits of your labor?
3. You taught me how to love: Okay umm... Don't ever say this. That's butter-knife-to-the-carotid-artery worthy. I'm just saying. [The Black 'n Bougie Blog does not endorse random stabbings to the throat with condiment utensils. Don't call me for bail money. Thank you. ~The Management]
4. There are so many things I would have done differently: This just begs the question - so why didn't you? This is either the prelude to some TapBack or a "let's try again" speech. Either way - not so good. Hindsight is 20/20.
5. You know I still love you, right? How is this helpful? Seriously, telling someone that you still love them leaving the implied but I don't want/can't/won't be with you or be what you want is kinda mean. I'd rather not hear it. In fact, I think this one might just make things worse.
What do we think BougieLand? Do you want to hear any of these? Are there other phrases that cause you to see red? Should we just create some "after-the-breakup" protocol to hand and recite like Miranda rights (at the scene of the crime)? Thoughts, comments, insights?