Reality Check: No one knows what goes on behind closed doors


Reality Check Week, also known as Sometimes Life Ain't Fair Week, also known as Wake Up and Smell What's Cooking week. Today: Closed doors. Read and learn...

So Eva Longoria and Tony Parker announced that they were getting divorced this week. Almost immediately the  media, the twitterverse and blogosphere started going in. Speculation went wild. Some of the less tactful comments went like this: "He finally got tired of that annoying little diva." "She wasn't satisfying him in bed." "I didn't think it would last that long." "She was never that hot to begin with."

Really people? By the time the story started leaking that he was (allegedly) unfaithful; folks had already called her everything from a gold-digger to a cupcake who should have quit her job and stayed by her man.

Let's be real... nobody but Tony and Eva knows what went on in their marriage. And all the malicious almost gleeful dissection of the relationship's demise set my teeth on edge.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday. She met a man and they were having some phone conversations. He disclosed that he was divorced. When she asked what happened he said they grew apart. Then he asked if she had ever been married and she said yes but was now divorced. He asked, "So what did you do?" She told him they had irreconcilable differences and he kept prodding and joking saying she must have caused the break up. So when she explained to him that her ex tried to strangle her (literally) and she escaped with her life, he felt like shiggity and apologized.

She shouldn't have to explain all of that. Saying irreconcilable differences should cover it. I know I dislike having the "so what happened with your last relationship" discussion. It's enough to say it ended and here we are now... isn't it? Even if I gave you every detail, you weren't there, didn't live it, so you'll never truly get it even if you empathize. As some writer once said, "Your blues ain't like mine."

Eva Longoria shouldn't have to sit on Access Hollywood saying her husband cheated. Folks don't know if she was serving up the cocoa twice a day with extra whipped cream. Maybe they stopped communicating, maybe they fell out of love. Who knows? I personally don't care. I so wish others felt the same.

Seriously, how much do you really need to know about a potential S.O.'s prior break-ups? With the exception of needing to know about police reports and restraining orders, does it really matter? The way someone is with someone else is not necessarily the way they are going to be with you - do you agree? Or are prior bad acts an indicator of future relationship crimes? (Once a cheater, always a cheater?) Do we ever really know what goes on behind closed doors? Do we want to? The floor is yours...