"If you would just stop being stupid and listen to what I have to say for once!"
Those were the words left floating in the air the first big fight I ever had with an ex-SO. We were standing in the bathroom preparing to go out. I had a make-up brush in my hand. He had a toothbrush. His hand visibly flinched when the word 'stupid' came out of my mouth. And to this day I cannot forget the look on his face. Angry, hurt, disappointed. He put down the toothbrush. Slowly he said, "You know what? I don't need this." And walked out. The ramifications of my sharp tongue, waspish tone and thoughtless words took all manner of time and effort to repair. Was it worth it to score that point? Hell no.
Since then I've been ex-treme-ly care-ful with my words. Making sure that if I zing, I meant to. If I flirt, I meant that too. And knowing that when you hit below the belt, you have to be prepared for those ramifications.
Standing in the Whole Foods Monday, I realized that not enough folks have acquired this "mark your words and measure their meaning" skill. A young couple was standing near the wines (blocking my path to the Chilean Shiraz) and they were arguing in heated tones. She was a good looking brunette who was whisper thin. He was a tall blonde who hadn't seen direct sunlight in a while. I don't know what the argument was about but the line that made me wince came from her:
"I didn't have to worry about stuff like this with Todd." Pow!
He came back with, "Which one was Todd? How do you keep them all straight? Surprised you paused long enough get names." Bam!
"I remember your name, so what do you care?" Oooo.
"Just sayin' at some point don't we all blend together?" Smack!
"Isn't your job to make sure you stand out? Why don't you just come up with one thing to do unforgettably well?" Sucker punch. The minute it left her mouth and hit his ears you could tell it did damage on both sides. They both turned vampire white. I slunk away hoping none of their bad vibe-i-ness rubbed off on me.
BougieLand, ever said something you immediately wished you could take back? Ever asked a question and then realized you weren't ready to hear the answer? Ever walked away from a conversation and THEN figured out exactly what you should have said? Care to share any of those? Or what you learned from the experience? When foot in mouth goes wrong, it goes really, really wrong. Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.