So then... is there any such thing as an innocent flirtation?


After yesterday's post on "just a kiss," a few follow-up issues popped up. Let's tackle one today - the intriguing question, where is the line between "innocent flirtation" and cheating? I'll admit to being super, duper biased on this issue. One of my exes always seemed to be "inappropriately friendly" with random broads. [Turned out he was inappropriately naked with random broads but that's not this post] Seriously, beyond a hello and a how are you this evening, what's with all the chitter chatter, banter, eyeballin' and banter with strange chicks?  There's "just making conversation" and then there is being receptive to advances. 

Ex-dude and I were at a restaurant and a chick walked past, stopped, did a double take, walked back and struck up a conversation. I sat there with the upraised brow when she looked at me and said, "I just had to stop a say hello." To which I replied, "I'm sure you did." She said, "Oh I'm sorry, are you upset?" Me, "Not unless he gets up and leaves with you instead of me which is highly unlikely." I smiled with all my teeth. She looked from him to me and walked away. He said, "You handled that well." I sent him a look, "I wouldn't have had to if you had shut it down from jump." And there ensued a "discussion."

I will also admit to being hyper-sensitive about phone calls and texts. If you are in a committed relationship, who the heck is calling/texting you at 1:00 am on Saturday night? Maybe with a phone call, I can assume it's some sort of family issue that must be handled. But texts after midnight? Who can give a good reason (non-cocoa-seeking) for that? Do share, I'm dying to know. 

Another in the many excellent dates of my life, I was riding in the passenger seat of a car when dude's phone rang. The woman calling spoke so loudly, I could hear her telling him all the things she wanted to do with him, that evening if only he were free. I'm sitting there like WTF?! I threw a little bit of a tantrum demanding to be taken home immediately.

I also send laser beam side-eyes to men and women on social media platforms. I have watched with pursed lips while folks that I know are in committed relationships get into all manner of hot mess conversations on Twitter and Facebook. What part of the game is that? Sir, you are really having a conversation about superior head game with a group of single women? Where is your wife?! 

Ladies, before you get all smug - some of the sisterhood out here shootin' bad as well. I stumbled across a "Twitter After Dark" conversation between a very married lady and a dude who was straight hollering... hard. Do folks not realize that tweets last forever? That the freakin' Library of Congress is capturing those things for all eternity? Might not want to offer cocoa by the cupful at midnight when you were tweeting about your happy marriage at midday... just sayin'.

In my mind, innocent flirtation should be just that. A casual exchange with no expectation of it going any further then the brief sparkly look and chat. That's why I believe flirtation is for the truly single. Once you are on the path to putting a ring on it, I just think you can be nice but hold back the twinkly "hope to stir your cocoa" vibe. Am I being naïve?

BougieLand - where are the lines? At what point does a conversation becoming a borderline betrayal? Is it tone? Context? Intent? Can you cheat with someone you never see (social media)? Can a committed person flirt just for kicks? Anyone want to take a stab at defining "flirting"? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.