In this Episode of Ask a Bougie Chick - In or Out of the Friend Zone?


If I had a dime for all the "Friend Zone" questions I receive, I swear I could've bought my Caribbean island and added a rum plantation for kicks. So guess what we're talking about today on Ask a Bougie Chick? Yes, you guessed it...

Let's start with PrettyGirlRock in San Diego -

Hey OneChele!
Really enjoy your blog and I notice you've given out some solid sounding advice on dating and relationships. I recently moved to San Diego and made friends with a great guy. I can tell that there is something else between us but I haven't pursued it because I've been so busy getting settled in with new job, new house, all that stuff. But now that I'm feeling settled, I kinda want to go for it. But I've never been the aggressor, what should I say or do? A grand gesture or note?

Hey there, do you mind if I just call you PGR?
Thanks for visiting the blog. Maybe I'm missing something but why don't you just tell him you're interested in more? If he's not, you're still friends (though it might be awkward for a minute). If he's interested, well - there you go. Good luck and make sure to tell us how it goes ~ OneChele

And next from a gent we'll call DB -

What are the top three things that could land someone in the Friend Zone (that men may miss)? Curious to hear thoughts from a bougie point of view. Don't call me out too bad, don't want to lose my playa card until I settle down.

DB- Ah sir, I never call out folks (unless they really, really ask for it) and besides, this is a good question.
Here are the top three ways you land in the Friend Zone without meaning to:

1) Not stating your intentions (if we don't know you're interested in "that way" we'll assume you're just being friendly and keep it moving)
2) Not bringing the cocoa-sexy vibe. (You really have to make a woman want to be more than your friend. Whatever that thing is that makes us want to see you naked? Yeah that. Find a non-sleazy way to remind a woman that you are a M-A-N.)
3) Taking forever to execute #1 and #2. Nice guys only finish last if they are SLOW. Early bird gets the worm. You see something you want, go after it. 

I should also acknowledge that sometimes a woman just may not be feeling you. may not want to be bothered with a relationship at all, or could hate men. These things sometimes happen. That's all I've got. Good luck with the ladies ~ OneChele

BougieLand ~ What advice do you have for PGR and DB? Who is stuck in the Friend Zone right now and trying to get out? Who needs help putting someone IN the Friend Zone? I have an app (okay a speech) for that. The floor is yours...