[Cue audience applause] It's time for another episode of... Ask! A! Bougie! Chick! The fascinating series where people (for reasons unknown) write in and ask me stuff and I answer. First, my usual disclaimer - I am not a relationship expert or counselor of any kind. Just a bougie chick whose been there, done that and literally written the book.
So today we have three intertwined questions, let's start with the first two...
From a girl we'll call GBC in the ATL:
How do you meet so many guys? I really want to expand my horizons!
From a gent we'll call KTJ in the ATL:
Where's a nice spot for me to meet upscale women like you? I keep meeting the same semi-regular girls. Is it a good idea to try date women in your church?
GBC and KTJ - Can I introduce you to each other? No seriously, I meet men in the most random of places because I smile and say, "Hi!" Barnes and Noble in the magazine section, Starbucks, sports bars, grocery stores, malls. I've been to Lenox Square and Phipps Plaza in Atlanta on many a day - chockful of the single and siddity. Smile at somebody and see if they smile back. If you don't want to wander the mall all day, ease into one of the restaurants near there and sit at the bar with a pleasant expression on your face.
On a further note KTJ - Semi-regular girls? Please define. Also um- your purpose for being in church is to get yo' pray on but if one of the sistas in the congregation is looking and sounding right to you, why not invite her out to an after service brunch? As long as you know that you're intentions gotta be right steppin' to the church ladies. If you are shootin' bad in the sanctuary, word will spread like wildfire. Oh, and God don't like ugly. Please don't be hittin' and quittin' your way through the Singles ministry.
Good luck and let us know how it's going. ~OneChele
From a 27-year old female calling herself Lonely in Los Angeles:
Chele - Hi. Love the blog and can't wait for your second book to come out. My problem is not meeting and attracting men, it's getting them to stay. For some reason, I can't seem to get past date three. First date is all great, second date more sizzle but after the third date I never hear from them again. It's not the sex, I'm great at that part. I look good, I smell nice, I have great conversational skills so what could it be?
So glad you're eager for the book to come out and are enjoying the blog. Now that we have the niceties out of the way... uh, er - what's this about the cocoa stirring? Are you habitually passing out the chocolate on date three? Not having all of the details about you and your potential S/Os it's hard for me to really say but is it at all possible that you are encountering men who are only waiting to get the cocoa and aren't in it for the long haul? I don't know. But it might be worth your time to see where you stand without sharing the good-good for a minute. Just a thought. What could it hurt to try? Barring that - have you asked any of them?
Good luck and let us know how it goes. ~OneChele
BougieLand - what have you got for our ATL folks looking for love? And any advice for Lonely in LAX? The floor is yours...