Is it wrong not to share certain things about your past with your S.O.?


Let's just agree that there's a certain amount of disclosure needed when you cross from the casual to the serious zone of a relationship. [Both parties must agree that the relationship is serious prior to all the sharing] We can also agree that oversharing is no bueno. So ladies, if you were spread over more athletes than Icy Hot rub back in your college days - keep it to yourself. Fellas, if your nickname on the yard was Daddy Longstroke... hold onto that.

We can all agree that the "health" discussion needs to happen [cover it up anyway!]. But when it comes to things like finances and previous relationships, how much disclosure is necessary? And is there any good reason NOT to disclose major portions of your life to your S.O.? Let's look at today's cases...

Case 1) Kerry just found out that her husband (Mason) has an entire family she knew nothing about. They've been married for seven years, together for eight. When she asked him about it, he said he had a horrible childhood and wanted to leave that entire part of his past behind. When she pressed him for more information, he shut down and said he did not want to discuss it... ever.

Case 2) Tracey was married for 47 days after her 21st birthday [drunken Vegas weekend gone really, really wrong]. That was fourteen years ago. She had pretty much forgotten about it. As a matter of fact, it wasn't until filling out a premarital counseling quiz with her fiancé that she mentioned it. Her guy was not amused and has postponed the wedding.

Case 3) Carter has a drunken Vegas story too. But his ended with a talented but trashy double-D stripper stealing his wallet in the dead of night and giving her "boyfriend" Carter's identity. Three years later, he's still trying to repair his credit. He didn't mention this to the woman he just married. So imagine her surprise when the mortgage application came back with all manner of nonsense.

Okay, am I the only one who thinks Kerry's story sounds like the intro to Who the (bleep) did I marry on the new Discovery Channel?

What do you think? Are Kerry, Tracey and Carter's omissions excusable? Do you want to know if your intended slept with a stripper four years ago? Married someone while drunk fifteen years ago? Where do you draw the "reasonable disclosure" line in the sand? Do share...