Is it wrong to let finance ruin romance?


We've all heard the sayings: No romance without finance, you gotta have a J-O-B if you want to be with me, I ain't sayin' she's a gold digger... you get the idea. And let's all acknowledge that a person is more than their job title, bank balance or credit score. But then again... check out these cases from two folks in their late twenties...

Case 1) Jeff just started dating [two months in] a beautiful girl (Charla) in Los Angeles. They are both degreed, come from small towns originally, have similar family backgrounds, a mutual love of sports and extra sizzly chemistry. They are both employed in the same industry and earn similar salaries. But Jeff is concerned and thinking about getting out of the relationship. Jeff drives an Accord, Charla drives drove a Lexus. I could go into all the detail he provided but long story short, Charla stays broke. Her car was repo'd and she has moved in with a cousin to save money. She shops a lot. She stays flawlessly groomed and attired. Creditors are calling her all the time. He is wary of moving the relationship forward. In his words, "It's not that she's ruining her credit but what does this tell me about her priorities?"

Case 2) Page's two and a half year relationship with Ben is strained. When she met Ben, he was an ambitious marketing professional on his way up in a Fortune 100 company. He owned a condo, drove a nice SUV and enjoyed travel and fine dining. Then...He was laid off from his job over a year ago, moved in with her six months ago and quit looking for a job altogether ninety days ago. He said he doesn't want to accept a lower paying or lower level job. His unemployment runs out in four weeks. She is currently carrying all the bills with the exception of his car note. When she talked to him about what they were going to do next, he said, "Let's worry about tomorrow tomorrow." He now enjoys Xbox and whatever Page brings home for dinner.  In Page's words, "There's standing by your man through a rough patch and then there's this right here."

Broke isn't sexy. But neither is gold-digging. Certainly, we want to give folks a break in tough economic times. These two situations are something else entirely. BougieLand - what do you do if you're Jeff? Page? How much financial drama do you allow in your romantic entanglements? Thoughts, comments, insights?