Bougie Bachelorette Chronicles - Episode 10: Awkward!


So what had happened was... 3N (Ninja Not Nouveau) was in Asia, then I was in Florida for a week and then 3N had his mother staying with him for about 12 days and then I went on an East Coast run. Long story short, Monsieur Le Ninja and I got to thinking that some "adult quality time" was needed... post haste. 

My plane landed around 2:30pm. I retrieved my car, went into work, went to the bank and went home. I spun around in the shower, got as cute as I could in 20 minutes and headed over to his house after a quick stop at the grocery store. He wasn't home when I arrived so I used my key and let myself in. 

Thirty minutes later, I had whipped up shrimp fajitas with black beans and rice. I had a pitcher of pear martinis (for me) and his bougie-azz beer chilling in the freezer. Then I sat down on the sofa to watch TV. Since I kept dozing off, I decided to go ahead and crawl into bed for a quick nap. I stripped down to undies and dove in.

Next thing I know, a voice is saying, "So was she part of the relocation package? Because that's a perk to get used to." I opened one eye and saw an older version of 3N smiling down at me. Oh yeah... 3N's daddy done come to town and caught me just about nekkid up in his son's bed. He looked from me to 3N and said, "If this is the same one your mother likes, I can certainly understand what you see in her." And then Daddy Ninja literally cackled.

Say it with me now... AWKWARD!

3N (clearly trying not to laugh his azz off) slung an arm around his dad's shoulder, "Dad, this is Michele. Michele, my father. She'll shake hands with you in ten minutes." He ushered his dad out of the room. I sat up and put my head in my hands. Only. Me. 

He came back in the room and shut the door with the largest grin on his face ever. "So... uh... thanks for coming by with dinner and... stuff."

"Shut it."

"Nice bra. Is it new?"

Heated side-eye from me to him.

"You made quite an impression on him. He appreciates a half naked woman who can cook."

"Seriously shut it."

"You gonna hide in here all night?"

"Maybe." I folded my arms across my chest and fought off the urge to pout.

So what did I do? I got dressed, walked into the kitchen and served dinner. I made small talk, I poured drinks, I charmed the hell out of Daddy N and then I rolled out. These are the days of my life...

Ever find yourself in an awkward situation where all you could do is play it off? No? Then why me? <~rhetorical question. Comments, laughter, shared embarrassing moments welcomed below...