Who do you believe? Your heart or your friends?


Short and sweet today...

Often, when we hear about folks (like JohnK) who end up in relationships that went to hell in a hand basket... we can't help but wonder - where were his friends, families, ace-boons who should have seen Tracey for the master manipulator that she turned out to be and let him know? I think one of the comments said, "Friends don't let friends date Tracey." Shouldn't somebody have pulled him to the side and dropped dime on homegirl?

But even if someone recognized her scandalous skankitude for all that is was - the honest truth is... would he have listened? His sister never liked Tracey but he chalked that up to random female drama (let's be honest, it happens) and didn't pay heed to it. When you are all wrapped up in love and feeling no pain, are you really open to what someone might be telling you? Not only do you not want to hear that your new snuggle thang is playing you, you are inclined to resent the person who burst your rosy bubble.

I know from previous experience that telling a good friend that her man ain't about shiggity tends to backfire... badly. I vividly recall interning in the Travis County District Attorney's office when a friend of mine's boyfriend came into court to be arraigned on a weapons and drug possession charge. I felt it was my duty to inform her that her man was a gangsta. She bailed him out, stayed with him, and I don't think she's spoken to me since.

I also once "had a feeling" that something wasn't quite right with a friend's s.o. but without anything more concrete than a feeling, I didn't say anything. The relationship ended disastrously (think restraining orders). I wondered if I should have mentioned my hunch. 

I've never had friends or family tell me that they didn't like my s.o. - if anything people have liked them and found them charming. [hmpfh] Now one particular ex no one trusted worth a damn... but neither did I. He proved himself to be utterly untrustworthy. So not only did I not listen to them, I didn't listen to myself. FAIL in duplicate. Moving on...

BougieLand, if your friend told you that they thought you were being played by your s.o. - would you believe them? Would you listen? Would you act on it? Would you tell a friend if you caught a "shady vibe" from their new boo? Have you been in these situations? What happened? Do share...