Why can't we be friends? The case for (against) work wives/husbands...


There is a brother at the new consulting gig who started the same day I did. He kinda rolled up round lunch time on the first day and introduced himself. A bunch of us went out to eat and he offered to drive. He held open the passenger and said, "Michele?" Oh. I guess I got shotgun. During the course of the meal, he mentioned a wife and I mentioned a significant other. Nuff said (as far as I was concerned). We also found out that we know a half dozen of the same people and worked at the same companies (at different times) in the last twelve years. Long story short, we had a similar professional background.

So for the past three days, we took to sitting next to each other and sharing the "are we there yet?" look with one and other. This afternoon, one of the girls said "So are you two a couple now?" 

**crickets** with a large dose of #HOP (Hold On Playa) two side-eyes and a WDDDA? No. Ma'am. We both, at the same time said, "No!" 

One woman said, "Yeah, that's how it starts. I've got my eye on you two."

Really, I didn't feel the need to discuss it any further. They don't know what I've got at home. They don't know what he's got at home. I only met this man 72 hours ago and beyond comparing work notes and an affinity for turkey and avocado on multigrain... that's all I knew. But the room at large felt the need to launch into a discussion of "work wives" and "work husbands" and that's how office romances start. I rolled my eyes and stepped outside to tweet.

Later when I was talking to New Ninja about it he nodded and then said, "Sure men and women can be work friends but believe me, he's already tucked you away in a 'might make a play for later' file."

Me, "What? No. It wasn't even like that."

Him, "It wasn't like that to you. Did he ask for your cell number as a 'professional contact'?"

Me, "Well, yeah. He called tonight to say he's assigned to different office."

Him, "Umm-hmm. You're in the 'come back around' file."

Me, "So you're saying they are no professional contacts. It's either a love thing or a 'maybe later' thing?"

Him, "No. There are professional contacts. Those consist of people you are not now nor never will be interested in romantically. And then there are professional contacts that you wouldn't mind sliding over to the personal side of the scale. Even if you never act on it."

Me, "I don't agree."

Him, "Ask BougieLand."

Fine (muttering under breath about folks trying to use my blog to prove their l'il point). BougieLand... do tell. Do you have a work husband or wife? What's the dynamic with "work spouses", are they people you would be with if you had the opportunity? Does it really all come down to the age old "Can men and women ever really be 'just friends'" question? Do share your thoughts, insights, comments...