Ask a Bougie Chick: Three Sides to Every Story


I don't know who first said it but I know it to be true, there are three sides to every he said/she said story:
  1. Her side
  2. His side
  3. The Truth
Today's letters illustrate just that point. Yes, today we have two for the price of one. We have a couple that we're going to call Tim and Lisa. Tim and Lisa dated for about a year and then moved in together. They've been shacking co-habbing for about a year. They are starting to get on each other's nerves a little bit and basically want us to play CoHab Ref. You know it's ridic when folks start writing in about shoes and milk. No, I'm not joking - here we go:
Lisa's story:
Chele - love the blog, especially when you give people your unvarnished opinion and then open it up for BougieLand to weigh in. Sometimes folks are brutal but no one is ever tentative in their opinion. "Tim" and I are in our late twenties, we live in North Carolina together in a two bedroom townhouse with a small yard and a dog. Tim is the love of my life but he's a slob. He leaves his stuff everywhere. He drinks milk out of the carton and when it's gone, he expects me to replace it. He does not grocery shop, he does not wash dishes, he does not wash clothes. I'm not even going to bring up the toilet seat because don't we universally know that it's the man's job to put the lid down? He will cook once a week, more if the weather is nice and he can grill something. All of this I would excuse if he hadn't recently taken up the habit of flirting with other women when we go out. just out of the blue one night he started doing it right in front of me. I love the guy but something's got to change. What do you think?  
Tim's story:
Hi - A friend hipped me to the blog and I like how you have both men and women in the readership who speak up. About me and Lisa, we met in Charlotte over a year and a half ago and live together now. I love her to death but she's killing me here. I'm sure she wrote you that I'm a slob and don't help out around the house. What she probably didn't share is that when we first moved in together and I offered to do those things, she wouldn't let me. She insisted that she wanted things done "a certain way" and it was not a problem. I'm making an effort to not have her pick up after me and to keep things straight in the sliver of closet that I'm allowed. Can you tell me why a women needs 100 pairs of shoes? Really? We started sniping at each other about stuff like this over a month ago and finally I just kind of shut down. I noticed that she's started checking out other men when we go out so I'm wondering if I should start to look around myself. I'd love to make this work because when it does it's special but I'm not going to wait for it to fall apart. I'm sure you have "thoughts and insights" please share.
Tim and Lisa:
Hey you two. Thanks for reading and appreciating the blog. Let me see how to put this...
Somebody's lying. And ya'll need to talk. For real though. It's great that you both decided to write in, maybe when you see what the other one has written, you'll double-blink and think about a few things. By the way, you both opened and closed by saying how much you love each other. Which makes me wonder if you both aren't at a crossroads trying to decide about happily ever after or not? Think on it.

I'm going to let BougieLand address the toilet, the milk, the shoes, the flirting and the passive-aggressiveness. BougieLand, can you holla at Tim and Lisa please. The floor is yours...