The New Relationship Juggle Struggle


A recent phone conversation...
*Ring-Ring*
"This is Michele."
"Is it? Is it Michele? Because I used to have a friend at this number but I haven't heard from her in weeks!"
"Hey girl, I've been swamped."
"You're always swamped, what's really happening? You got a new man?"
"Well there is someone I've been seeing..."
"For how long?"
*mumbles* "About six months or so?"
"Heffa, did you say six months?"
"Mayhaps."
"It's a good thing I love you, when do we meet him?"
"I'll set something up."
"I cannot BELIEVE you have turned into one of those chicks who gets a man and ditches her girls!"
"Ma'am, we were only catching up once every few months before I got a man?"
"Whatever, how fine is he? I know he's fine. Is he finer than-"
"See, that's why you haven't met him yet. Get your mind right and I'll call you this weekend."
"You betta. Don't make me come out there."
I'm not that girl. I'm not the girl who gets a man and ditches her girls. I am a woman who is doing entirely too much. In the scheme of things, there are only 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week. When deciding what to do with the spare 4.7 hours a week I don't have carved out for something else... my bad, I decided to get in some time with the man. But I'm in a different kind of situation, most of my girlfriends are married with kids and live 40+ minutes away. Even before the man, we would catch up by phone and see each other every other month. I have girls I consider to be my close friends that I haven't actually laid eyes on in years. It's definitely not like it was in my twenties and early thirties when me and the girl crew were hanging tight every weekend and twice during the week. Those days are done. Chele needs naps.

But I am familiar with the get-a-man-ditch-your-girl phenomenon. I had a close friend that we could always tell when she had New Man syndrome. She would go from meeting us for workouts and dropping by to get her TV watch on to going complete radio silent for weeks at a time. I used to tease her, "Does your phone only dial one number when you've got a man?" We actually had a huge falling out years ago (for a number of reasons), but the last straw was that I was moving to California and instead of coming by to see me the week I left, she decided to spend time with her new man. Umm... sisterhood FAIL.

3N gets teased everyday (every. darned. day) by his crew because the old "Open Door - All May Enter" policy is no more. The days of the fellas falling into his spot on their way home/out/after church/before a date/to grab a bite/to play Xbox... done. Keys had to be relinquished, alarm codes got changed, visiting hours and protocols put in place. These things sometimes happen.

There just doesn't seem to be enough time to get it all in. And do it all well. But I guess that's life.

Ladies and gents? Have you gone through the new relationship juggle struggle? Have you seen it in action? Thoughts, comments, insights?