The Bougie Bridegroom Chronicles: Lessons Learned


A different perspective for you today. Rob, who met Amy here in BougieLand, will be flying to San Diego tomorrow in preparation for his wedding on Saturday. He has a few thoughts he'd like to share:

Hi, my name is Rob and I'm getting married this weekend. Less than five days from now, I'll be Mr. Bleek. Yes, I know I'm Mr. Bleek now but I'll be the Mr. as in Mr. and Mrs. *gulps air rapidly*

Here's what I've learned since proposing:

1. Marriage doesn't scare me but all the wedding shiggity planning in advance has freaked me out. I can honestly say that I don't care if the flowers are white or ivory. I don't care if Amy wears her hair up or down. I can dance to Johnny Cash and Johnny Gill, whoever. But it seems to be important to Amy, so I weigh in. Yes, I want my middle name on the invitation. Yes, I can find four groomsmen. Yes, teal is a beautiful color. No, I didn't know it wasn't the same as turquoise or ocean... but I do now. My lesson - if it's important to her, it's important to me - like it or not.

2. Guys that I thought were my friends have pulled me aside to question my sanity. "Rob, are you sure about this?" "Rob, my dude, marriage - really?" "Rob, what do you really know about her?" Very quickly, I was able to figure out which friends were trying to be helpful, which ones were hating, and which ones were bitter. It was illuminating. My lesson - there's got to be an easier way to learn who your friends are.

3. With the exception of the excessive extensive marriage counseling that we attended, we had very little time to actual think about the future. My lesson - thank God Amy and I had fleshed out who we were and what we wanted from each other before the circus started, otherwise we would be two strangers walking towards each other on Saturday.

4. Family means well but at some point the wedding becomes more about them then about us. Lesson learned - nothing wrong with eloping. 

5. Pre-Wedding TapBack is no joke. After the invitations went out and the Facebook statuses were changed, Amy and I have heard from people we hadn't given a thought to in years. I kid you not - my ex-girlfriend from the seventh grade reached out. Ma'am? Really? Lesson learned - Chele was right, beware the tapback.

6. Old(er) married people are your friends. Single people who have never been engaged, close to engaged or maintained a relationship longer than a weekend are useless to the bewildered and the betrothed. (And yet they feel compelled to offer up advice) I quickly learned to listen to the LMs (Long Marrieds).Best advice - You're never ready, but at least be prepared.

In conclusion, I'm over the engagement and the wedding - I'm ready to be married. Thanks BougieLand for letting me vent.

Bougienistas - any thoughts on Rob's thoughts? Any good wishes to send the future Mr. & Mrs Bleek? Do you think people plan more for the wedding than the marriage? The floor is yours...