Confident or Arrogant? Or Something else?


As a writer, I like to create characters that I would either be best friends or mortal enemies with. Often, I've found that the difference between a character I love and one I love to hate is the degree to which they play up their strengths or weaknesses. Take, for instance; self-esteem. Healthy is good, inflated is irksome. Confidence can tip forward into arrogance, arrogance can slide into egomania. Or maybe it's something else altogether.  The following scenarios are from actual emails I have received. So take a look and decide.

1. Woman is dating two men- the men both know about each other. After a few months, the fellas decide enough is enough. They show up at her place at the same time and tell her she has to pick one or the other. One tells her, "You know what I have to offer. I hope you choose me," then he leaves. The other sits down, puts his feet up and pats the sofa beside him. "You know it's me, it was always gonna be me, and it's still me." How very N'Sync of him. But I ask you - is this arrogant or is this confident? Or something else?

2. Twenty-two year old college graduate goes into large corporation to interview for an entry-level position in the marketing department. Their resume consists of retail, restaurant and volunteer work. In the interview, the new grad admits that they have no practical hands-on experience but feels they are smart enough to pick up whatever is thrown their way. Even though the position pays $38,000 annually, the new grad says they won't take less than $45,000 because that is what they feel they are worth. Tell me - is this arrogant or confident? Or something else?

3. Thirty-five year old woman recently lost a lot of weight. She is back to her high school size and wants to flaunt it a little bit. She reaches into the back of her closet and pulls out her old high school outfits and starts wearing them. Several people (friends, family, coworkers) advise her that this is not a good look. She says, "The clothes are back in style, they aren't too revealing plus I look good in them." BougieLand, is this arrogance? Confidence? Or something else?

BougieLand, what say you about 1, 2, and 3? What's the difference (in your opinion) between confidence and arrogance? Which one are you? Do share.