(From the Urban Dictionary)
Player: A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin".
Player: A male who is skilled at manipulating ("playing") others, and especially at seducing women by pretending to care about them, when in reality they are only interested in sex. Possibly derived from the phrases "play him for a fool", or "play him like a violin".
Playette: a female version of a player can play in several different ways:
a) have multiple boyfriends with or without them knowing about each other
b) lead many different guys on but never actually commit
c) goes from guy to guy to guy to guy to guy
(see Hall & Oates Maneater)
Let me kick this post off with a shameless plug. In my 2012 release, Pretty Boy Problems, the male lead in the story - Beau Montgomery is a player. He's an unrepentant hound dog who has skated through life on his charm, looks and uh- cocoa prowess for years. It isn't until he meets his equal on all levels who simply isn't having it that he decides to change his ways. But it takes him a little time to completely drink the "Get Right" Koolaid and in the meantime, the heroine in the book is giving him all manner of hell.
In one scene, Mr. Beau literally leaves the bed of one woman and then realizes his mistake and shows up at old girl's house in the middle of the night to confess and make amends. I had to do all sorts of literary backflips to make this scene work (and of course I can't tell you how it turns out) because I couldn't fathom such a thing in real life.
If a young, single person wants to pass out their cocoa with two-for-one coupons, so be it. As long as you are being safe, responsible and not leaving a trail of disillusioned or broken people in your wake - do you. It's when a person is playing with people's heads and hearts that I have issues. I also look with skeptical side-eye at people "past a certain age" who are still out in the streets stirring Le Chocolat with everything that moves. Discernment, anyone? I tend to cross my arms and tap my foot when I hear someone bemoaning the lack of a "serious" relationship when I see them leading with the cocoa.
All of this to say, I'm too old to date players. I have zero patience for "taming" someone who wishes to run wild. You needed to catch me in my twenties for that when I truly believed that all any man needed was a "good woman" to get his act together. Let's stop and giggle over that one, shall we?
This goes both ways, fellas. There are some sister-girls out there wildin' with no remorse as well. Playing is playing no matter what side of the fence it's coming from.
So I ask you, BougieLand? Could you date a player/playette? I mean seriously, for the long term. Don't players need love too or do they have reform to make the "serious consideration" list? Anyone in BougieLand a "reformed player"? In a relationship with one? (I do know some of you personally and will side-eye the hell out of your comments) Thoughts, comments, confessions? Do share...