When to admit you suck (not in a good way) - A Bougie Bachelorette Chronicle


What had happened was... Really, if you take each thing individually, it wasn't that bad but put all together? I kind of sucked as a girlfriend for the last week.

First of all, David was sick. I did go over and take soup and stuff. I stayed until he fell asleep and then I went to sleep in the guest room. This netted me the side-eye of life. But hey - he gets sick and he's up 24 hours later. I get sick, it turns into some kind of exotic infection and I'm down for 10 days. Could he really not feel the love from one room over? Apparently not.

Next on my list of transgressions, the airport drop off. I was supposed to take Le Ninja to the airport and I sort of sent a car service to get him instead. Okay but wait - I had a medical thing that had been rescheduled. It was supposed to a take a half hour but ended up taking two. So (without going into details) since I was stuck in the stirrups, I sent a text to him and a car to his house. 

Which brings us to my next mea culpa, I had a medical thing that was not a big deal but then again, kind of a big deal and I didn't tell him about it before hand. I told him later when all was good. I knew I was breaking the s.o. "share and share alike" code but I was trying to end around a discussion... Le Sigh. 

Then came the Incident at CVS. We swung by to pick up a prescription. I was minding my own damn business in line at the pharmacy when the store manager rolls up and starts hollering. Not discreetly. I mean full scale "here's my card, how u doin', holla atcha boy, hey baby hey baby hey" roll up. At first, I thought he was trying to offer me a discount on my purchases. Then I thought he was trying to sell me something. By the time I figured out what was what, David had stepped forward and announced, "She's flattered but not interested." Oh boy. CVS manager did not back down. In my haste to defuse the situation (why was the store manager hollering on a Saturday morning, why was David looking like he wanted to swing on fools in the CVS), I took the card and said, "Uh thanks." Wrong. Thing. To. Do. David looked at me like I had shot Bambi, stole Christmas and talked bad about his mama all in the same day. Lawd. Lawd.

Wrap that up with The #$%! bracelet and you see why I was getting all manner of attitude. So your girl had some work to do. Starting with getting to the bottom of the shaky ground I stood on. Apparently, this all started when one of the exes sent me a text and I responded. Didn't matter that is was a generic "Happy Holidays" text and all I said was "You too." It was enough with all the other yada piled on to land me in hot water.

David is the stoic type. He earned the nickname "Batman" for being quiet and inside his head half of the time but social and engaging the other half (not to mention being a generally cool guy who wears black really, really well. But I digress). He doesn't tend to get angry. He seethes quietly and then all of sudden it's Threat Level Orange round here.

After a four hour conversation where he looked at my side and I looked at his. We decided there are one or two hurdles to jump but they are manageable. I gotta do better, he's gotta do better and we have to agree on what to take seriously and what to shrug off. We have to agree to talk about things while we're still at Threat Level Green inching towards Blue. Once you hit Orange and Yellow, you're just firefighting. At some point, a couple has to come up with The Escalation Point Rules of Engagement. 

BougieLand, how do you decide what to get upset about and what to shrug off? What is your surefure "I know I effed up but you still love me anyway" apology tip? Thoughts, comments, insights? The floor is yours.