What you won't do for love... A Bougie Bachelorette Chronicle


One of my favorite songs of all time is Bobby Caldwell's "What You Won't Do For Love" - it's one of those soulful classics that I grew up singing and had not nary a clue what the feazy I was singing about. 


I was thinking about these lyrics the other night.
Some people go around the world for love
But they may never find what they dream of
What you won't do, do for love
You've tried everything but you don't give up
In my world only you makes me do
For love what I would not do
Mr. Dude was in town and we were enjoying an evening with Trey and his sweetie du jour, Robin. I had already shamed David at the spades table (Dude, did you seriously just cut my ace to make your book? What did you think the jack of diamonds was going to do for you? When you have more than 5 spades, you need to up your bid!). Then after a lengthy discussion in which for the sake of our relationship we decided not to play any more games for the evening, we found ourselves watching Sparkle

There's a fairly horrific scene in which crazy dude Satin tells pretty girl Sister that he wants her to crawl for him. I had a visceral reaction not just to him beating her all to hell but also the thought of being asked to crawl. Trey, perennial troublemaker, asked - "So you wouldn't crawl if your man asked you to?"

My jaw dropped open as David and I exchanged glances and the first thought in my head flew out of my mouth, "He wouldn't be my man if he's asking me to crawl."

Robin asked, "Why would you say that?"

Me, "Why would someone who signed on to be my equal, my partner expect me to crawl? I wouldn't expect him to."

David piped in, "It's a relationship not slavery."

Trey said, "So what would you do for your man? What's the most extreme thing you would do? Give up your last dime, go homeless? Would you take a bullet? Commit a crime? Go to jail?"

Me, "Am I dating Suge Knight all of a damn sudden?" Everyone laughed and Robin asked Trey, "Are you Ride or Die? Would you do all of those things for love?"

Trey shrugged, "I don't know. Aren't you supposed to do anything for love?"

David, "In theory, yes." We fell silent for a minute, then I said, "This is one of those, you don't know until you're tested type of things. Sitting here right now it's easy to say sure, I'll jump in front of a bullet but when it's going down I may be inclined to dive under a car and hope he runs like hell."

Trey snarks, "My man ain't worth a bullet?"

Me, "I'll tell you what, if you're around - I'll push YOU in front of the bullet, how's that?"

After that we changed the subject. (Though Robin was sending Trey laser beam side-eyes the rest of the night) But I was wondering- just what would I do for love? I don't think I'm as "ride-or-die-down-for-whatever" as I used to be. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? BougieLand, what would you do? Are you catching bullets for your s/o? Willing to burn-up-your-clothes-smash-up-your-ride? Do share...