Ask a Bougie Chick - Is he worth the wait?


Today a young lady wonders if the guy she met is for real and worth her continued investment. Take a look and weigh in.

Hi Chele, 

How are you? I'm having a guy issue and wanted to ask you about it. Love your blog by the way, I am a faithful reader. 

About 2 months ago, I met a guy "D" at a party I had at my apartment. A mutual friend brought him and I guess he was into me, because he asked my friend for my number. We started texting the next day. D was in Atlanta for the weekend looking for an apartment because he planned to move from Houston 2 weeks after I met him. Two weeks turned into 1 month because his aunt died right before he was set to leave. Now one month has turned into "indefinitely" because his mother has ended up in the hospital and he is going to stay in Houston to care for her and help cover some of the bills until she gets better. I am definitely understanding and compassionate, knowing that if my mom were in that situation, she would be my top priority. From the day after I met him until about 3 days ago, D and I have talked on the phone or exchanged text messages almost daily. I think he's a great person and I was excited for him to move to my city so we could continue getting to know each other and maybe take it further. 

But now I'm starting to feel antsy. He hasn't even been back to Atlanta for a visit, and doesn't know when he will be able to take that trip. He has no idea when he'll finally be able to move to Atlanta. I don't really want to carry on this phone-based interaction much longer when there's no prospect or promise of us moving forward. 

I also have that cynical voice in the back of my head that wonders if D is 100% real with me. I only met him about 2 months ago, and all I've had to go on is his word. The guy who introduced us vouches for D, but I personally haven't spent any time with him. It's not like we hung out alot in Atlanta before he went back to Houston--we met, and days later he was in Texas again. I've never gotten the feeling that he's lying to me, but I feel like I need to be wise and not naive. I just watched a show on ID about a man who made up elaborate stories about his parents and children dying and they were all lies! I know that's extreme, but still. 

He seems to be a great guy and we have great conversations. We laugh, we "get" each other, and we really click. I really want to see where this thing can go, but that can't happen until he's finally able to make the move to Atlanta (at least I don't feel like it can). A couple days ago I basically told him that I really don't think I can keep up all this phone talking and texting, and I really want him to come to Atlanta at least for a visit. He said he will when we can, but can't make any promises right now. 

Am I being unreasonable? Too impatient? Should I give him more time given his tough family circumstances? Should we stop talking everyday and just let some time pass? Should I stop caring because I don't really know know him? 

Also, not sure if you think age matters, but we're pretty young here. I'm 23 and he's 24. He was coming to Atlanta for an internship and to finish school. 
-Brianna in the A

Hey Bri! Thanks for being a faithful reader. We LOVE that. :) I say, at this point, no harm done. If you aren't seeing anyone else and all he's using up is your cell phone minutes and you're enjoying yourself, roll with it. The truth (good bad or ugly) will come to light eventually and then really all you've done is spend some time having great conversation with a guy you like. If you meet someone else or get information that puts him in a negative light, you can walk away. That's just my two cents.

BougieLand, what say you?