Good Man or Sponsor?


After yesterday's chat about Terry, I had not one but five guys ask a variation of the same question: If you are taking a woman on trips, helping with her bills and buying her things, does that make you a good man or a sponsor?

My first thought was - where are this men? Do you hold meetings regularly? Is there a mailing list? Oh. Sorry... let's continue.

My answer to each of them is the same - if you stopped doing all of that stuff tomorrow would she still be with you? IF the answer is yes, then she considers you a good man. IF the answer is no, she considers you a sponsor. This is why you will notice folks who stick with the girl they were with when they were on the struggle coming up. If she loves you when you're down - it's all good when you're up.

Reverse this for a moment. IF a woman is dropping full-stun p-power on you and you are giving her all these things in apparent appreciation is she a good woman with stellar bed game or something else? Depends on what you continue to do when the legs close. Are you the dude who stays all night for marathon cocoa but can't spend two minutes for quiet conversation over cereal? Or are you the one who comes over with soup and Kleenex when you find out she's sick?

I think we've given up trying to define what a "good man" or "good woman" is since it is so subjective. Once you get beyond the basics of pleasant personality and striving to live by basic Golden Ruleness - that "good" description means different things to different people.

But I think we can agree that the difference between a romantic relationship and a business relationship is the deliberate inclusion of power, goods, services and quid-pro-quo-ness to the exclusion of the romance. Yes, I'm aware quid-pro-quo-ness is not a word but you get my point.

I hate to draw a direct parallel between money and sex. But let's face it, these are commodities. A man who closes his wallet will soon see who is truly there for him. A woman who closes her legs will find out the same. Am I wrong? BougieLand, it's on you - how can a (wo)man tell if (s)he's being appreciated or used? Do share...