The things we say in a break up. Goodness knows I've heard it or said it all before:
- I'm not ready to be in a relationship right now
- Things are moving too fast
- I met someone else
- I never expected we'd get here
- We just aren't vibing
- We don't want the same things
- We're not in the same place
- I'm not able to give you what you want
- Not sure I ever really loved you
- It's not you - you're a wonderful person, it's me - I have things to work out
Yeah, I could go on. But let's read this note from Angela in Missouri, shall we?
Hey Chele, love your blog and it seems like you've gone through break-ups and come out the other side in a good place. I'm twenty-seven and have been seeing a guy for about six months and out of the blue he said wants to end it. Not too much explanation just gave me "it's not you, it's me" followed with something about his current level of emotional maturity. What does that even mean and what am I supposed to do with that? Is it something I did or didn't do? Said or didn't say? Any clues? If I don't know what happened, how can I prevent it from happening again? Help!-Angela in Kansas City
Hey back atcha, Angela. Yep, I'm an old pro at break-ups and rolling with the punches, what an awesome thing to be known for... O__o. Sorry, I digress... Bottom line is - if one person truly wants out and there no rings and no kids, all the other person can do is say - okay then. There are a gajillion ways to take this. He's spooked or he met someone else or he's just not that into you or you two aren't meant to be together or or or or.... There are a thousand little pieces that need to fall into place for relationships to work out, one of the pieces just didn't fit. Sorry but without intimately knowing your situation, that's the best I can do. EVEN if I intimately knew your situation, sometimes all you get is - it didn't work out. Sucks for sure but without additional feedback from him and others you've dated, you've no way of knowing if this was avoidable. The only thing I will question -was it truly out of the blue? Look back and see if there are things he said or did that left bread crumbs leading up to this? Then at the very least, when you see that same thing - you'll know to start asking questions.