When Superwoman needs a nap

Every holiday it seems I make the same declaration - Someone else needs to step up and make this holiday happen. Yet I found myself (again) hosting Christmas (again) with guests (again) and last minute shopping, wrapping, decorating (again) and cleaning and cooking and cleaning (again) before I jetted off to Mexico where BougieSis caught the flu, gave it to me and I spent New Year's huddled under an electric blanket with antibiotics.

No. Bueno,

I returned to work this Monday to find that not one but two employees were promoted out of my already understaffed team so I was left with a team of one and a half people to do the work of six. I went into a status meeting with a client and of course had my hindparts handed to me because I couldn't commit to taking on any additional work. Oh and it was windchill 12 effing degrees outside so my trek to the treadmill felt like a march across outer Siberia. I made it for 18 minutes on level 1.7 before my lungs revolted and I hacked and coughed my way back to the house.

I'm living so sexy.

And don't get me started on my love life. Really. Let's just let that simmer on the back burner until my energy is back where it needs to be. Suffice it to say dude said he was sorry I didn't feel well, did that mean I wasn't cooking for the game? {Insert epic side-eye here}

Okay, enough whining. Please do not go look in the archives to remind me how many times I say "This year, I'm doing ME!" I lowkey mean it this year. Superwoman needs a nap, the cape needs to be dry-cleaned and the boots require new heels and some polish.

I'll be the writer/blogger/HR Consultant propped up in the corner in Snuggie (do they sill make those?) - How's your new year starting out?

Happy 2015! I resolve... not to make any resolutions

I cannot, in good conscience, kick off one more January with a peppy New Year, New You! post. I cannot. Let's face facts. We did not magically become new people between midnight December 31st to 12:01 am January 1st. All the faults and foibles we possess are still there. We are who we are for the most part.

What a new year DOES do (just like a new day only with a bigger sketchpad) is give you an opportunity to draw a different road map. You don't get to hit a reset button really but you can say, "I'd like to do x and y and z this year" and people nod and encourage you to do so. However, if it's the exact same x and y and z you've resolved to do in multiple years' past, allow for the fact that folks are going to side-eye the hell out of you. 

But that's okay too. I, for one, have decided against the annual making (and breaking) of resolutions. I'm just going to continue to be a better me, whatever that turns out to look and sound like. 2014 was more win than lose for me so instead of picking it apart, I'll just take the W.

However, I will take a moment to talk about broad lessons learned in 2014. And yes, some of them sound familiar because apparently, I'm the sort of gal who has to learn things the hard way and more than once...
  1. Rarely do the best things happen overnight or without a bit of sweat equity. This counts in relationships and work.
  2. Be careful what you wish for cuz you just might get it. Can I get a witness?
  3. Not everything you want is what you need. C'mon somebody.

What about you? Did you keep to your 2014 resolutions? Trying again this year? Do share...

Boobs and P! Power - Scandal and a PSA

In the words of the Commodores - How can she lose those things she use?
In mid-September, I was running errands when one of Plano's finest pulled up behind me and flashed his lights. Le Sigh. I pulled over with a smile on my face, rolled down my window and spoke, "Hi Officer, how's your day going?" He paused and then blinked. "Um, better than yours. You don't have a front license plate, your inspection sticker is out of date and I can't find proof of insurance on this car in the system." I handed him all my documentation, explained about the inspection sticker all the while smiling and chatting about the weather, the Cowboys, the price of gas, whatevs.

"You are the most pleasant traffic stop I've had in a while." He informed me while he typed up $600 worth of fines into his little handheld. 

"Well, no need to make you feel bad about doing your job. Plus I was just headed to Zumba class so it's not like you're totally ruining my day." I brightened the smile and fluttered the lashes. 

"You know what?" He offered, leaning in. He may or may not have been ogling the boobs. "I'm not supposed to do this but let me tell you how you can get almost all of this excused and pay only a tenth of the fine." 

"That would be soooo awesome," I cooed and wrote down every word he said. He thanked me for my pleasant attitude and we went our separate ways. On the day I was supposed to go in and prove I had fixed all the stuff, I clickety-clacked into the Collin County courthouse, stood in line for 52 minutes (with a lot of really cranky people) and finally handed over my paperwork. She typed my name into the computer and looked up. "One second." She made a phone call.

Everyone stared at me like I was about to get Seal Team 6'ed up outta there. Officer Friendly came out from the back and motioned for him to meet me in the lobby. "Hi there!" I waved. He laughed and said, "Let's take a look." We went outside, looked at the car, he signed off on the paperwork. We walked back in and I saluted him, "Thanks for the service, you be careful out there." He walked away shaking his head. No, Officer Friendly was not cute. He was just a guy doing his job who enjoyed not getting cussed out.

When I handed my stuff back to the clerk, old girl said, "That will be $11." I didn't ask any questions, slid a ten and one across the counter. The guy that was behind me in line looked over and announced, "It must be awesome to have boobs." I grinned, "It rocks." He look stunned that I acknowledged that I had flirted my way out of a $600 fine. Then I hotfooted up out of there before somebody changed their mind. 

Last night on Scandal, Papa Pope was livid that Olivia out-maneuvered his nefarious plot to get rid of Jake while shaming Fitz. When he came to confront her at the pool, she calmly removed her goggles and told him that she had weapons at her disposal that he never would. Okay?! Boom-chicka-wow-wow and whatnot.

She basically touted the power of the p! to her daddy. Admirable? No. But totally true. 

Speaking of girl power, ladies - today is the last day of Breast Cancer Awareness month - did you get the girls checked? Medically and professionally, I mean... SMH. Get yo' mammogram on.

Ladies, I would ask if you've ever unleashed the power of p! (or merely exercised your God-given estrogen-powered right to be charming) to get something you wanted but that would be giving away the secret sauce, wouldn't it? Enjoy your weekend.