Ask a Bougie Chick - Cougar Stripes


This one definitely goes into the files under the "I'm sure you think this is a compliment you just sent me, but it's really not" category. Take a look:
Hey Chele!
I'm so eager to get your opinion on something! I'm divorced, no kids, just turned forty and I've recently been getting asked out by guys a lot younger than me. Like more than 10 years. I've been hesitant because that seems like a stretch but reading your blog and your experiences, I'm starting to think - well why not? If Chele can nab her a hot young thing (sorry it didn't work out by the way), so can I, right? 
Plus you wrote the book about the woman who dated the younger guy and you sound like you really know what you're talking about.  
So I'm wondering if you have advice for those of us dipping a toe into the cougar waters. Are there things to look out for, things we should be aware of? Catching and keeping the attention of men that could date 20 year olds is a little intimidating, isn't it? Looking for any tips you can give me because this is all new to me. 
Thanks for whatever help you can give me. Love the blog, love the books. When's the next one due out by the way? 
You are fab!
FJM in Charlotte
So........... this is what it's come to, huh? I'm now some sort of cougar expert? A puma whisperer? This can't be my life. Le Deep Damn Sigh. Here we go:

FJM -
A few things. 
1) Glad you like the work. Pretty Boy Problems is on shelves next Tuesday. Enjoy!

2) Sweet Little Lies was a work of fiction. Yes my heroine dated a younger man but 80% of that book was pure imagination. 

3) The last boyfriend was 7 years younger (but I'm sure hearing himself referred to as a "hot young thing" made his week). Before that, I had a long-term relationship with a guy that was 14 months younger. 10+ years I have zero experience so not sure I should be your go-to gal on all things cougarific.

4) You should be clear on something: All guys with any sort of game have the ability to date 20 y/o women so you're competing against them no matter who you date. In the end it's about what you bring to the table. You need be authentically you. If that's what they want, you're in. If it's not, onto the next.

5) Dating a younger guy is no different than dating any guy - it's all the same basic principles. Please do not attempt to act, speak or dress younger - that never goes well. See line above about authenticity and repeat.

BougieLand - ladies and gent - any advice to FJM on dating a younger man? Thoughts, comments, insights?