'Tis the season for Tomfoolery...

I received a FedEx package today. I was very excited because BougieOlderBro got me the new Kindle and it's been lost in UPS hell since last Thursday. (No, I didn't think it through. Just grabbed the box). I ripped it open and lacy lingerie fell out. Cheeky boyshorts in a rainbow array of colors to be exact. Oh. Clearly not a Kindle. Obviously not from my brother.

I take a second to read the front of the package. It's from an ex. I dig out a note - hope to see you soon. Hmm. Really tho? I look at the items a little closer. They are a size two/XS. Say what? Yes, I've lost weight but not in my adult life have I or will I fit into a size 2/Extra Small anything. Ever. (Did I say ever? Yep.) As I'm contemplating what to think or what to do with aforementioned drawers, I receive a text from this ex. "Hope you like the scarf." 

**crickets** followed by **blinkety blinkety blink**

So wait a minute now. Either someone sent the wrong gift to the wrong person or someone is playing games. Either way, I chose not play. I wrote a note "Pretty sure these aren't meant for me" and resealed the box. Caught FedEx guy before he left the apartment complex. These undies are going to return to sender.

People. I CAN NOT. What would you do in this situation?

Girlfriend of mine called. She's been dating a guy for about two years now. Over Thanksgiving they went ring shopping so you know what she was expecting for Christmas. Christmas Day she gets up and he's sprawled out under the Christmas tree buck-assed naked with a bow wrapped around his "candy cane"... he announced that he was the only present she needed that year. She played it off but was crushed all day. More so the next day when she found out he bought himself a new Lexus and all she got was a bow around something she'd had before... I'm just saying. BougieLand - what say you? Cute, corny or c'mon son?

Anyone get gifts they absolutely loved (I got a sparkly dress for Inauguration Weekend - so excited!), gifts they just didn't understand (see six 2 drawers story above) or any disappointments (Amazon, please free my new Kindle)? Do share.

Yes, I know the season is about more than gifts. Please don't preach in my comments section today...

Bougie remix: Columbus Day, really?

from the archives... my 2009 thoughts on Columbus Day:

As Americans, we love us a holiday. My oh my, an excuse to turn a weekend into a three or four day break from the paycheck plantation? Sign us up. I remember as a child asking if I could celebrate Yom Kippur and Rosh Hashanah out of respect for my Jewish friends. BougieMom said if I wrote a five page essay describing their origin and how they were celebrated, then sure. I went to school.

In Texas, we have a number of bullshiggity holidays that continue to raise an eyebrow: San Jacinto Day for one, Confederate Heroes Day for another. Yes, Confederate Heroes Day (celebrating Jefferson Davis and Robert E. Lee – look it up, I can't MAKE this stuff up) which falls on near January 19^th of every year. The catch? For years in Texas, you could choose to take either Confederate Heroes Days or Martin Luther King Day… guess how the office diversity looked on each of those days? Nationwide, there are some holidays that have outlived their usefulness and become a reason for a parade and creative cocktails (think St. Patrick's Day). No, I'm not including Juneteenth (now known as Emancipation Day) as a bogus holiday, ya'll need to get with that… seriously. No better excuse for a BBQ and a radical fist pump in the world.

But of all the holidays that need to be stricken from the books, I have to vote for Columbus Day. Haven't we proven that old Chris didn't really discover anything? I mean, how can you discover something that already exists? Didn't he basically jack some folks, plant a flag and declare it all brand new? Suppose I roll up in your living room and discover your 52" plasma, if I stick a flag in it and kill some brown people, is it mine? I'm just wondering. I know the Italian-American community has embraced this holiday as a cause célèbre, but what is really being celebrated? From the Wall Street Journal:

Much controversy exists over Columbus' expeditions and whether or not one can "discover" an already-inhabited land. The natives of the Bahamas and other islands on his journey were peaceful and friendly. Yet many of them were later enslaved by the Spanish. Also, it is known that the Vikings explored the North American coast 500 years before Columbus. [sic] But 22 states don't give their employees the day off, according to the Council of State Governments.

And in other places, Columbus Day is under attack. "We're going after state governments to drop this holiday for whatever reason they come up with," said Mike Graham, founder of United Native America, a group fighting for a federal holiday honoring Native Americans.

His group's agenda: Rename Columbus Day "Italian Heritage Day" and put it somewhere else on the calendar, then claim the second Monday in October as "Native American Day." South Dakota already calls it that.

Other organizations want to rename the day "Indigenous Peoples' Day," as several California cities, including Berkeley, have done.

Columbus's defenders aren't prepared to watch their hero's holiday sail off the edge of the earth. They say he should be celebrated for risking his life to explore the world and for forging modern ties between Europe and the Americas.

His supporters acknowledge Columbus took slaves back to Spain and opened the door to conquistadors who killed Native Americans. But much of the criticism is built on "judging a 16th century man by 21st century standards," says Dona De Sanctis of the Order Sons of Italy in America, a group of half a million Italian-Americans that tries to defend Columbus' legacy.

At Brown University, the rename-the-holiday activists "stressed this was against Columbus, but not Italian-Americans," says Reiko Koyama, a junior who led the effort to persuade the school to change the name to "Fall Weekend." Brown happens to be in Rhode Island, a state with the largest proportion of Italian-Americans in the U.S.

Lookie here: Pookie, Ray-Ray and 'dem "discover" new stuff on the regular; four hundred years from now will we have a National Grand Hustle Day? Just sayin' – since we're all so worried about political correctness these days, it might be time to take a look and see which of these "national holidays" still make sense. Any thoughts on Chris C.'s holiday? Any other holidays need the side-eye?

Happy 4th! How independent are you?

It's Independence Day! The day America said told Britain, "We're done, son." Of course after being freed from the tyranny of British rule, the forefathers rained all flavors of holy hell on folks here in the new country but that's for another day.

Some dude on Facebook was going in last night about how all these women consider themselves to be strong and independent but they are really not. He argued that a lot of women lean on men, friends, family both emotionally and financially to make it from month to month. He believed that the "independent black woman" is a myth. So of course, someone else launched the counter offensive about men being the biggest dependent and co-dependent on the planet and the battle was on.

Got me to thinking... Am I as independent as I think I am? By this definition:

Definition of INDEPENDENT

1

: not dependent: asa (1) : not subject to control by others : self-governing (2) :not affiliated with a larger controlling unit <an independent bookstore>b (1) : not requiring or relying on something else : not contingent <an independent conclusion> (2) : not looking to others for one's opinions or for guidance in conduct (3) : not bound by or committed to a political partyc (1) : not requiring or relying on others (as for care or livelihood) <independent of her parents> (2) : being enough to free one from the necessity of working for a living <a person of independent means>d : showing a desire for freedom <an independent manner>

I'd say I'm 92% there. Whether that's a good thing or bad thing... topic for another discussion. I personally don't mind leaning on others from time to time. Lady Liberty has got to be tired of carrying that torch all by herself. Some days, I'm sure she'd like to set it on down and get a dip in the ocean and a spa package. I'm just saying.

Bougieland, do you consider yourself independent? Do you feel free? Why or why not? Do you ever want to be completely independent? Please discuss...

Be yo' own damn Valentine first... please

Whew! There's a lot of bitterness towards Cupid in these streets. Folks just railing away about love gone awry, being led astray, torn asunder and what not. Alright, we get it - it's hard out here. Finding and keeping "good love" is truly the pursuit of a lifetime. 

It's tough and then those darned Romans who felt the need to make a festival for every damn thing, decided to celebrate a group of Christian martyrs - one of whom may have been named Valentinus and 1600 years later it has devolved into the red and pink pressure cooker of a spectacle that is today. (How it came to be about romantic love and a chubby baby wielding a lethal weapon, I'll never understand)

I think we can all agree that Valentine's Day is one of those holidays that is doing the most. This whole glorification of romance has gotten uber-commercialized along the way. People set expectations, people get depressed, people cut a fool - it's a mess out there. The pressure to have a date/be in love/be in a relationship/be validated by flower delivery/the list goes on... it's real and so unnecessary. Some make the most of the day, some crumble under the pressure, others dodge it all together. The number of Twitter announcements screaming "My s/o broke up with me the day before Valentine's Day" yesterday was ridiculous. Breaking up with your boo to get out of Valentine's Day is so damn ratchet, people. 

Oh and fellas, please stop acting like the ladies are the only ones pressed about Valentine's Day. Some of your brethren are flagrant with the thirst out here on these innanets. Eau de Desperation is not sexy on anybody. Chill  out. 

So maybe you have a Valentine, maybe you don't. (Maybe yours is 7000 miles away :-/) Either way, this year - how about you love you some you first? There's a Valentine that always knows what you want before you even speak. Pick yourself up a little something nice for dinner and raise a toast to another year with someone who truly cares about you. There are worst things to be than single, good people. Get through the day with a smile (and a sip or two if needed). Tomorrow, you'll still be you and you should okay with that.

Thoughts, comments, insights?

Happy New Year but...

Woo-hoo! Happy, Happy! We made it! We still here! *snoopy dances all over BnB* 

But wait...

The calendar changing from 2011 to 2012 is not like a Monopoly "Get out of Jail free" card.  It's not a magic reset or a do-over. It's just a new day to keep living hopefully better than you were before. There's no need to resolve to do a whole bunch of shiggity that you said you were going to do last year and the year before that. Time's a-wastin' - tomorrow ain't promised - all you've got is now. Need any more truisms?

Here's one. 2011 is gone bye-bye. Put it in the books. It was what it was for the good, the bad, and the bougie. Don't dwell on it. Learn from it and keep it pushing, people.

We lost way too many far too young in 2011. So instead of resolutions - let's make plans. Some of you have been longing for a relationship, go ask someone out. Like today. Back away from the keyboard and go flirt over a caramel macchiato with extra sprinkles. It may not lead to the love of your life but at least you're taking a step.

Some of you want to feel better. Right after you finish the 2012 soul food plate, drink 24 ounces of water and vow to do better tomorrow. Some of you want to make more money - so what's the plan? What's the side hustle? See where I'm going with this?

How are you going to use 2012 to get from A to B and onto C and D. Because A is already been-there, done that and B is about to be yesterday. So I don't want to hear your resolutions this year, I want to hear your action plans. Let's get it, BougieLand! Who's with me? *shakes pom-poms*

2011 was good to me. I did better in almost every area of my life than I did in 2010. Sometimes that's all we get - a step up and chance to keep going. Happy New Year everybody. Tell me, who's happy to wave bye-bye to 2011? How are we planning global takeover and domination for 2012? And for the love of all that is holy, who is with me to help Obeezy #OccupyTheWhiteHouse for four more years?

2012 is not a game, ya'll - it's today.