*Blogger's note: In light of yesterday's tragedy, I was going to scrap the series and blog about something more serious... then I thought we probably need something a little light today. So here it is...
Continuing Famous Movie Quotes I don't Believe in week has brought us to the 1970's classic, Love Story, based on a novel of the same name by Erich Segal. He penned epic heartstrings and violin inducing sagas of love and loss. People adored this movie. I was one of those who when I was old enough to get it, sat through it with many plates of skepticism peppered with side-eye and a few helpings of some "for real tho" on the side.
In a synopsis:
Rich preppy dude (Ryan O'Neal) at Harvard meets po' preppy chick (Ali MacGraw) from Radcliffe. It's Romeo and Juliet redone, kinda. She tries to make him less white bread, he tries to keep her mostly naked. Romance follows. They fight and she tearfully tells him, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," thus letting him off the hook for his jackassery. His family hates her and cuts him off, they struggle, she gets sick and succumbs. His father is shamed and apologizes and dude tells him, "Love means never having to say you're sorry," thus letting him off the hook for his jackassery.
You see my issue here? By never admitting wrong doing and apologizing, I feel you're being let off the hook for whatever you did wrong in the first place giving you implicit invitation to continue to do wrong without consequence. Me no likey. Someone on the innanets agrees with me, here's their illustration:
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| Okay?! |
I think love means saying you're sorry before you're backed into a corner and there's nothing else to say. I think saying you're sorry and following it up with actions proving you're sorry and will do better is a great way to love. Now on the other hand, if you're just throwing around I'm sorry like dirty Kleenexes, you might as well not say anything all. And that's not love.
I distinctly recall an ex who gave great apology. If apologizing for wrongdoing was an Olympic sport dude would be the Michael Phelps of that ish. He would get down on his knees in front of me, give the sorrowful chock-full of remorse look, drop his voice an octave, take my hand in his and say, "I genuinely apologize, Michele. I did not mean to hurt you." He always followed this up with some flavor of grand gesture and the obligatory knock-it-out-the-park-so-she-wont-remember-what-she-was-mad-about cocoa. This worked... until it got repetitive and by then I knew what was coming before he one-kneed on the carpet. Keep yo' sorrys when they don't meant a damn thing except "sorry until the next time I eff up" or "sorry I got caught and have to say I'm sorry again." :-/
But when they do mean something (and often they do), I think they should be said and meant and shored up by better behavior. Maybe that's just me? Am I the only one who sees the value in a well-done apology? Or do the people you love never really have to say it? Do share...